Thursday, June 25, 2009

Really Bad Weight Loss Advice

  • Trick your stomach into feeling full by eating a couple of sticks of butter.
  • Carry around a bag of Milky Way bars in your gym bag in case your blood sugar goes too low or you really feel like a Milky Way bar.
  • Weigh yourself once a year.
  • When you go to the movies, request “Light butter” on your box of Milk Duds.
  • When you eat a loaf of French bread, scrape off the carbs first.
  • To curb the urge to get up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen for a midnight snack, keep a pan of warm brownies on your nightstand.
  • Instead of a Big Mac when you go to McDonald’s, settle for two Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese.
  • Going out doesn’t have to be all about a big entrĂ©e; next time, just order a round or two of cheesesticks, potato skins and the Triple Dipper Southwest egg rolls.
  • If you can’t remember to eat fresh fruit, fruit-flavored ice cream is an acceptable alternative.
  • Instead of saying “Yes” when the drive-thru girl asks “Would you like fries with that?” say “Please.”
  • Watch a workout DVD at least once a week.
  • A salad with Thousand Island dressing has a surprising amount of calories; next time, just leave off the salad and swig the dressing from the bottle.
  • Make one day of the week a “Nothing-But-Cheese” day.
  • Instead of salting your food, put a hunk of salt between your cheek and gum and release a little bit with each bite.
  • One slice of cake may be high in calories, but they never say just how big the slice can be. You’ve got ‘em on a technicality.
  • Make up impressive weight loss numbers for your blog to make you feel better about your progress.

28 comments:

  1. That first one is real bad advice. Funny how it seems like such a good idea at the time!

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  2. lol, I like the watch a workout DVD at least once a week.

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  3. hahaha...

    that was really a funny one... Couldn't stop laughing... though they all sound funny we actually do some haha...

    Top Fat Loss Secrets

    Please follow me on twitter - Lose fat and gain lean mass

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  4. My favorite... If you can’t remember to eat fresh fruit, fruit-flavored ice cream is an acceptable alternative.

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  5. And I thought I was the only one that swigs Thousand Island, lol!! Funny stuff.

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  6. Laughed hard at the chunk of salt in the cheek, releasing just a bit with every bite.
    Extremely funny stuff!

    Sean

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  7. MMMM.. nothing but cheese day

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  8. One should always say "Please" when requesting oil soaked potatoes

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  9. Warm brownies on the nightstand is wrong?

    Don't judge me!

    :-]

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  10. I thought I was the only one that liked butter on my milk duds.

    That guy has bad advice and a bad hair cut...thanks for the laugh, as always!

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  11. light butter on Milk Duds? LOL

    It's nice to visit your blog in the morning and get a smile on. Look how many followers you have!! And I can say I remember you when your avatar was a big gorilla. Those were the days. haha :)

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  12. Have actually done the "Nothing But Cheese" day. (Hangs head in shame - but my, it was tasty!)

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  13. Hey, follow me on Twitter too! Wait, I'm not on twitter yet. I can't say what's in my nightstand but warm brownies it is not. And who doesn't watch an exercise dvd occasionally? Oh...I'm the only one.

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  14. I like the warm brownies by the bed side.

    Another piece of good/bad advice: Wear elastic waistbands.

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  15. The butter and the dressing actually made me gag when I read them. lol Of course the warm brownies made me drool. lol

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  16. Instead of saying “Yes” when the drive-thru girl asks “Would you like fries with that?” say “Please.”

    What about also agreeing to supersize while going through the drive thru? :)

    ~Wendy

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  17. Mmmm...warm brownies on the nightstand and CHEESE DAY - ALL DAY. LOL! Love it.

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  18. Uh, hm. I used to have days where I ate practically nothing but cheese. Except crackers and Coke. Seriously. Maybe that had something to do with my weight problem??

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  19. This is bad advice.
    Wondered where I was going wrong.....

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  20. Two of anything can't be that bad for you, even if it is 2 sticks of butter.

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  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. how about limit you amount of birthday cake to just one sheet

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  23. What kind of salt? I'm going to have to try that one. LOL

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  24. Hahaha. You mean I shouldn't follow this advice?

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  25. You’ve got ‘em on a technicality. :-)

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  26. My absolute favorite was two double quarter pounders instead of a big mac. that one made me laugh out loud. And I'm all for the nothing but cheese day.

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