Monday, June 8, 2009

Dearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today...

Weekly weigh-in: ****
Loss: ** lbs
Total loss: *** lbs.
Emotion: ********

Instead of my usual weekend sacred service (the Sunday morning weigh-in), I spent the weekend at my niece’s wedding four hours away. It wasn’t the train-wreck it could have been, but it was bad enough that I’m skipping my weekly hop-on-the-scale this week. Why? Call me Jack S*lt.

Snacked on semi-healthy (but salty) chips and pretzels on the car ride, didn’t drink enough aqua (even though I brought a big jug), nibbled a little at the reception, then went out with entire family to a Mexican place they all love (but I think is kind of mediocre). Broke down and ordered a beer, then had a little “What the hell?” moment with the greasy chips and salsa.

I wish Mexican food in this country resembled, oh I don’t know, food in Mexico. Every time we travel south of the border, we encounter all kinds of fresh and exotic fare, and rarely is any of it smothered in cheese and served with prison-style glob of beans. I split an order of extra-salty veggie fajitas with my wife Anita, and somewhere along the way had another beer. I was okay with the beer because they weren’t huge glasses and, when I start, I’m capable of putting away a lot of beer.

We went down to the fitness area later that night, while my mother and my daughter Pisa checked out the pool. I farted around on some of the equipment, but my heart (and stomach) just wasn’t into it.

Next morning, I made better choices at the complimentary breakfast buffet (featuring make-your-own-waffle station). I had oatmeal with sliced banana, juice and an apple. Snacked a little more on the drive home (did not plan well for car trip) and got back on track once I returned home. Ate better and exercised for couple of hours in the afternoon. Still, I can feel all that water weight clinging to me like saran wrap.

On the drive home, I was doing a bit of thinking about celebrations and how they so often knock us off skew with our weight loss plans. You tell yourself it’s okay because it’s a special occasion, and then a couple of nights later an old friend is visiting… or it’s a co-worker's birthday… or a new restaurant opened that everyone’s raving about… or they put Milky Ways in the vending machine. There’s always something to celebrate.

I don’t feel too bad about how I did this weekend… but I don’t necessarily feel like weighing in either.

Can’t do a wedding post without working in my Grandpa Noah Sh*t’s old saying: “Marriage is a mental state… it’s an institution. I guess what I’m trying to say is that marriage is a mental institution.”


  1. lolz @ marriage is a mental institution. Good job resisting most of the food, I would have caved in!

  2. Dear Jack, you truly have won my "favorite weight loss blog" award this week. So many of your posts are cracking me up like crazy, which is so so needed on this journey!!

    I know what you mean about celebrations. Last week was my daughter's birthday. First we had her "family" birthday dinner. Then we took her for her "friends" birthday dinner. It felt like it was never ending.

    I was truly hoping to make my goal weight this week. But due to all the celebrations, it just didn't happen.


  3. Haven't heard that one, have heard "Marriage means commitment, of course so does insanity."

  4. Isn't it funny how "what the hell?" shows up right after beer and alcohol? I've noticed it. :)

    I love me some good greasy cheese topped Mexican food. Love it but I haven't craved it lately. It's a shame to waste calories on mediocre Mexican though.

    So what does Jack Sh*t eat anyway? Clean? Mostly clean? Weight Watcher? Jenny Craig? or just sh*tty?

  5. It is amazing how much food is tied to celebrations isn't it? I just went through something similiar at a memorial for my grandpa. Food was everywhere! Good for you though for not letting one day get under your skin and throw you completely off plan.


  6. Chips & salsa -- the bad, bad boys.

    I challenge you to get on the scale. It might not be as bad as you think. You can handle it.

  7. Food and fun ALWAYS go together in the world I live in. Sounds like you really didn't do too bad. I'm with Lee...weigh yourself.

  8. Alright, alright... I'll hop on the scale in the morning. Is this that "accountability" thing I've been hearing so much about?

  9. yep, this is accountability dude

  10. LOL @ or they put Milky Ways in the vending machine

    I too think you should step on the scale ...

  11. Did somebody mentiion beer?

    Seriously though, a trip away and a family get together are really difficult for the dieter - sounds like you are getting back to business now though.

    Any perceived damage can be mitigated by a couple of good hard workouts. Get to it!

  12. Here's to Non-Linear Progress and Non-Scale Victories of every kind!

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  14. I keep trying to remind my family that every. single. time we get together (which happens about twice a month) it doesn't have to revolve around food. If I call my sis and say, "hey, I'm coming over", she'll say "I'll fix lunch...I've got this, this, this and oh yeah, I'll make a brownie smothered in pudding with cool-whip for dessert..." I guess old habits die hard? Or something like that!

    -deleted the first comment...I seriously put cool-shit! Although, now that I deleted it, I should have left it! Darn it!

  15. OMG, I LOVE THAT CAKE!!!!! Why didn't anyone else comment on that cake?! That is HILARIOUS. This should definitely make the hall of fame over at Cake Wrecks. You know...

    Then again, if your trying to lose weight... maybe you ought not to go there. Congrats on all your losses so far! I wish I had your discipline.



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