Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Ways Losing Weight is Like Childbirth

  • Lots of screaming, crying and cussing along the way.
  • It’s a process that feels like is never going to end.
  • There’s a voice telling you “Push! Push!”
  • Doctors think they have all the answers, but people have been doing it without them for centuries.
  • You’ll soon have a bunch of clothes that are too big for you.
  • There are a million books on the subject.
  • It was more fun to get in the situation you’re in than to get out of it.
  • Spouse thinks they know what you’re going through but they don’t.
  • It helps if you’ve got someone there to lend you support.
  • Drugs are optional.
  • If you’re healthy, there’s no reason you can’t do it.
  • There’s quite a bit of labor involved.
  • It’s probably the most important thing you’ll ever do.
  • It’s hard to explain to your kids.
  • It’s a real pain in the bottom.
  • If all goes well, a brand new life emerges.


  1. Jack,
    Thanks for the many laughs you bring me! Always appreciated!!!

  2. Love your blog!

    Thank you for the encouraging words on mine Mr. Sh*t!
    I've been looking through your post and reading and laughing and agreeing! Congratulations on your success so far!

    Take care,

    Sean Anderson
    The Daily Diary of A Winning Loser

  3. Brillant!!

    BTW,I passed along the really sh*tty blog award today.

  4. Wonderful, thoughful post! thanks.

    My mother told me that labor was like a know it's not going to last forever....OH, and it hurts like hell!

    My fave was the one where you said it's the most important thing you'll do. I AGREE! And the one the hardest.

  5. HA! My mom has made the comparison before as well. :)

    I love this one: It was more fun to get in the situation you’re in than to get out of it.

    Dude, are you a writer for a living?

  6. Great list as always!!! How are you doing though? Don't think you're giving birth unless there's something you haven't told us lol.

  7. Kelly, I'm a Jack-Sh*t-Of-All-Trades.

    My wife Anita told me that as her pregnancy progessed, more and more people smiled at her. I told her that's because she was fatter than they were.

    Yeah, I spend a lot of time in the doghouse.

  8. Funny list! Just wanted to add that the brand new life emerging will need to be put on hold for the next 21 years in real life - at best.

  9. hehe... many chuckles from this post

  10. Soo true. Your lists are always funny.

  11. ANOTHER great one!

    You always make my day.

  12. Oh, no! Will I have to shave my hoo-hoo and endure sore nipples again?

  13. OHGOSH I'm just hysterical! Read your profile "song" and I'm having kittens! (Hey, maybe I'll drop a few lbs. when I'm done with the birth process.) Had to sign up to follow. You're a riot. Caught your comment on 45+ and aspiring....Now I'll forever picture you in that outfit. Drop on by anytime. :)

  14. Spouse thinks they know what you’re going through but they don’t.

    Sooo true.

  15. "Lots of screaming, crying and cussing along the way." ... And how!

    Thanks for the compliment on the new 'do!

  16. Jack, Jack, Jack...You are a true inspiration. I look forward to reading your blog every day. Blog, Jack, Blog!

  17. You are always so clever! Love it!

  18. that birth weight varies from 2-lb babies to over 100-lb babies. YIKES!!



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