Friday, June 12, 2009

Blog Posts I Started to Write But Couldn’t Finish

  • The Adventures of Fat-Man,The Crap-Eating Crusader
  • Famous Fatties’ Famous Last Words
  • A Serious Look at My Weight Loss Efforts Utilizing Charts and Graphs
  • 101 S’More Recipes
  • The Britches of Eastwick…A Haunted “Fat Pants” Tale
  • Fatduko
  • Comments That’ll Get You Kicked Out of a Weight Watchers Meeting
  • Ways Weight Loss is Like Professional Wrestling
  • Witty Responses to “Are You Losing Weight?”
  • Weight Loss Haiku
  • Lord of the Onion Rings (the Adventures of Fatbo Faggins)
  • Mad Lbs., The wacky fill-in-the-blank weight loss game
  • Snide Comments Simon Might Make on the First Episode of American Fat Idol
  • Charcoal Drawings of What I Had to Eat Today


  1. Turns out the bagel
    Looked prettier on my plate
    Than on my fat ass

    (I have a soft spot
    in my caridac muscle
    for weight loss haiku)

  2. I once had one of my "episodes" at the Hardee's drive thru window. I used to think they were "mini heart attacks". I prayed that God would not let me die like that...commando, wearing an old worn out robe, clutching a brown paper sack containing two, I say two Monster burgers.

    He granted my wish, I'm afraid He is going to have me "pull an Elvis".

  3. thanks for your comments, im usually needing some kind of kick in the a$$ to get stuff going.

  4. You still are, and always will be THE MAN!

  5. I'll take "Witty responses to 'Are you losing weight?'" for $500, Alex.

  6. Oh, gosh - I wish people would post charcoal drawings rather than saliva-inducing lovely real-life photos of their food!

  7. You mean you've canned those ideas? I'm heartbroken!

  8. Lee, that's actually the one I wish I had a good answer for...

    Don't worry, Hanlie; there's more bad ideas where those came from. ;)

  9. Bring on more comments :P

    Geniusly funny as always.

    Hell yes.



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