Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Working Out with Judy, My Impersonal Trainer

  • “Do three sets of ten thing-a-ma-jiggies on the arm thing.”
  • “No, I can’t tell you what muscle group that works.”
  • Okay, John. Do some squat-thrust-lift-ups.”
  • “I don’t need to write anything down; I’m keeping up with it in my head.”
  • “Do some stuff for your lats.”
  • “Whatever you do, Jeff… just make sure you use completely perfect form. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
  • “Hi, Karen. Yeah, I’m on Loser Patrol this afternoon.”
  • “C’mon, *yawn* you can do it.”
  • “It’s a rowing machine. Row, dumb*ss!”
  • “Why don’t you try spotting yourself, Jerry?”
  • “I was on break, okay?”
  • “Yeah, probably you should do some of those… you know… ummm… crunchies.”
  • “If the weight feels too heavy, try trying harder.”
  • “Excuse me, I’m on the phone.”
  • “How much time do we have left? Do that much on the treadmill.”


  1. I'm with Dawn....sack her! Another fine post sir.

  2. The two most terrible words to hear in the english language are "Squat Thrusts". It gives me flash backs to gym class.

  3. Is this post for real? I cant wait to play catch up...

  4. Oh, my goodness - you workout at my gym?

  5. I love the part about being on the cell phone. I would be livid if my trainer did that!




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