Monday, September 26, 2011

Weight Loss Songs for The Wee Little Children

I'm a Little Crackpot
I'm a not-so-little crackpot
Tall and stout
.
"Jack" is my handle
.
I liked to pig out.

Then I got all steamed up.
Hear me shout
...
“Healthy person locked inside
...
Please come out!”

Skip to My Looney

Poo, Poo, Snack Jackie Poo
Poo, Poo, Snack Jackie Poo
Poo, Poo, Snack Jackie Poo
Snack Jackie Poo, I'm starvin'!


Quit eatin’ Butterfingers,

Shoo, Jack, shoo!
Quit eatin’ Butterfingers.

Shoo, Jack, shoo!
Quit eatin’ Butterfingers.

Milky Ways, too!
Jack Jackie Poo, I'm watchin'.


Poo, Poo, Sad Jackie Poo

Poo, Poo, Sad Jackie Poo

Poo, Poo, Sad Jackie Poo

Jack Jackie Poo, quit sobbin'!


Lost my mojo, what'll I do?
Lost my mojo, what'll I do?
Lost my mojo, you did too?

Jack Jackie Poo, I'm fallin'!

Poo, Poo, Jog Jackie Poo

Poo, Poo, Jog Jackie Poo

Poo, Poo, Jog Jackie Poo

Jack Jackie Poo, we're chargin'!

I’m gonna do this, you are, too.

I’m gonna do this, you are, too.

I’m gonna do this, you are, too.
Jack Jackie Poo, my darlin'!

Old Jack Sh*tter


Old Jack Sh*tter was a fat ol’ man
.
He ate hash browns from the frying pan.
He wore blue jeans that were way too tight
,
And he never could stick to his diet.

Life’s not good for old Jack Sh*tter
.
He just ate an apple fritter.

Fritter’s gone, makes him go nuts
.
He just left to get more donuts.

Old Jack Sh*tter went to town
.
Stopped at every buffet around.
Ate like it was some kind of sickness
.
Put three restaurants out of business.

Get out the way for ol’ Jack Sh*tter
.
Obesity has made him bitter.
Bitter now, but better he’ll be
,
When he quits being so B-I-G.

Jack finally started to fly straight.
Begun doing something ‘bout his weight
.
Got a fire–not food–in his belly
.
Excercising and eating healthy.

Get out the way for new Jack Sh*tter.
Providing health tips there on Twitter.
Twitter, sure, and he’s got a blog, too
.
He sure hopes you'll get more fit, too.

2 comments:

  1. And such great tips you provide on twitter...

    ReplyDelete
  2. LAWL - I'd LOVe to see a bunch of kids singing "Old Jack Sh*tter" in school. I may snort milk laughing so hard. Hmm, I may go teach this to my sisters 3 little kids and see what she says...... (BWUHAHAHA)

    ReplyDelete

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