Tuesday, September 27, 2011

More Ways to Make More Time for Exercise

• On January 1st of each year, pay all of your bills for the entire year.

• Instead of wasting time doing laundry, invest in industrial-sized barrel of Fabreeze.

• When working a sudoku puzzle, just put random numbers in random squares.

• Go through car wash at 60 miles per hour.

• One way to get your house cleaned faster is to threaten to fire your housekeeper unless she picks up the pace.

• When dropping your kids off, teach them to roll out of the car so you don’t have to come to a complete stop. They’ll think it’s fun and you’ll pick up a few valuable seconds in your day.

• If you have a flat tire, just keep driving, moron.

• Speed-pray.

• See if you can find a combination manicurist-proctologist.

• Keep a razor in your car so you can shave your legs while stuck in traffic.

• How about this for a bedtime story: Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived happily ever after. The end.


  1. Hi-larious. Reminds me of an old commercial, teenager's driving his grandma somewhere but is in a hurry to get somewhere else (fast food or soda commercial I think.) He pulls over, opens the door and yells "Tuck and roll, Grandma, tuck and roll!" Now I just need to get the razor in may car....

  2. I was hoping youd suggest we PUSH our car through the car wash..

  3. I'm gonna spray Fabreeze on my workout clothes. I'll probably have a lot of space and machines to myself while working out.



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