Thursday, September 1, 2011

Son of Weight-Loss Tips

• One way to tell if lettuce isn't fresh is to check the color; if it's black, it's no longer fresh.

• You can make your own rowing machine with two long poles and a rowboat.

• Drink margarinemilk instead of buttermilk.

• Making low-carb "toast" is simple; just replace the slice of bread with something that's not bread.

• Like to eat when you're stressed out? Next time, try having an uncontrollable crying fit instead.

• If you're invited to a wedding, make a note when you RSVP that you'd appreciate them not serving cake because you're on a diet.

• Can't afford fresh fruit? Try dressing up like a gorilla and getting captured  by a local zoo.

• If all the others runners in the marathon are wearing leather chaps and feathers, you may have accidentally stumbled into a "Gay Pride" parade.

• Tipping your personal trainer with a counterfeit $100 bill will ensure that your next session will be extra-intensive.


8 comments:

  1. There are some good tips here - for example, I think I will stop eating black lettuce; I thought the rule was that the darker the color, the more antioxidants were present . . . and the slimy . . .er, slippery [?] texture meant I needed less dressing. But I guess it tasted terrible because, in fact, it was past its prime. So thanks for that . . . Still, my favorite tip is this one:

    "If all the others runners in the marathon are wearing leather chaps and feathers, you may have accidentally stumbled into a "Gay Pride" parade."

    Good to keep in mind . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you know that the vast majority of people in this day and age have excess abdominal fat? The first thing that most people think of is that their extra abdominal fat is simply ugly, is covering up their abs from being visible.

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      Delete
  2. So where can I rent a gorilla suit?? :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. For the record, swishing at a gay pride parade burns calories and strengthens the core.

    ReplyDelete
  4. For some reason I read margarinemilk as margaritamilk. I was gonna look for a recipe!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I couldn't find a rowboat with two poles. I found a rowboat with two germans though.

    You can have that one for free.

    I'm available for birthdays, weddings, childrens parties and bar mitzvahs.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Or mix them up - a gorilla suit AND a Gay Pride marathon!
    Hold the toast! ;D

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for sharing the weight loss tips, it's really useful. weight loss is not easy but with the help of balance diet and regular exercise it will possible.
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    ReplyDelete

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