Thursday, September 29, 2011

More Tips for Healthy Grocery Shopping

• Build strong arm muscles by carrying grocery cart around the store.

• The only way to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe is to thump the produce guy and say “Hey, is this cantaloupe ripe, Produce Guy?”

• Aisle sprints. GO!

• Stretch your arm muscles by reaching for several cans of pork-n-beans on the very top shelf for that nice little old lady, even if nice little old lady insists that she doesn’t want ‘em.

• Tape coupons to bricks to give yourself more of a workout.

• Some stores give out free samples of exotic cheeses. These samples are completely devoid of calories and fat, or so I’ve led myself to believe for some dumbass reason.

• Lead the guys in the lobster tank to a rousing Zumba session!

• Don’t buy products with high-fructose corn syrup and – for God’s sake – don’t even think about buying products with low-fructose corn syrup!

• Buy whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta and… yeah, yeah… go ahead and buy whole wheat everything! Yes, that includes a whole-wheat copy of Cosmo!

6 comments:

  1. Another funny installment to a list of many....keep em coming!

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  2. Aisle Sprints!!! I'm so doing that with the Teens on the next grocery store trip.

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  3. I want to go grocery shopping with you! Sounds like you have a lot more fun than I do =)

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  4. I tried this, but have now been banned from both grocery stores in town. What do I do now?

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  5. LMAO, my next grocery shopping trip shall be filled with coupon bricks and exotic cheese.

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  6. hahaa funny post. Just wanna say we enjoy your site as we were once very, very large as well. We've slimmed down a little but are still big dudess. check out our site tho, its funny stuff you'll def laugh at! This post is "Why Eating Healthy is Overrated" http://toobig4society.com/?p=314

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