Wee Little Children Love Weight-Loss Songs!

Say, Say, Oh Weigh-mate

Say, say, oh weigh-mate,
Come on and weigh with me.
We’ll hit the scale, you see,
And lose a pound or three.

Shout out our progress.
It’ll make our spirits soar!
And we’ll be bloggy friends,
And lose some more, more, more, more.

Say, say, oh weigh-mate.
I cannot weigh with you.
This week I ate a slew.
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo.

Ain’t got no excuses.
Ain’t gonna be like before.
Back being bloggy friends,
And lose some more, more, more, more.

LB Showing on the Weigh-in When She Weighs

LB showing on the weigh-in when she weighs.
LB showin’ on the weigh-in when she weighs.
LB showin’ on the weigh-in.
LB showin’ on the weigh-in when she weighs.

Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs a’fore she weighed.
Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs a’fore she weighed.
Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs.
Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs.
Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs afore she weighed.

Oh, we’ll all be here to console her when she weighs.
Oh, we’ll all be here to console her when she weighs.
Oh we’ll all be here to console her.
All be here to console her.
Oh, We’ll all be here to console her when she weighs.

Well, she’ll slip off her pajamas when she weighs.
Well, she’ll slip off her pajamas when she weighs.
Well, she’ll slip off her pajamas.
Slip off her pajamas.
It’ll piss off everyone at Weight Watchers when she weighs.

Now she’s gettin’ more excited when she weighs.
Now she’s gettin’ more excited when she weighs.
Exercisin’ and eatin’ right.
It’s a lifestyle more than diet.
Now she’s gettin’ more excited when she weighs!

I Love Food

I love food,
That’s just me,

Led to my obesity.
With a great big lunch,
And a snack at half past two,
Can’t you see what that will do?

I love food,
That’s just me,

But best friends we should not be.

With a great big shrug,
Must be careful what I chew,
Time to say I love me, too.

A Few More Weight Loss Songs for the Wee Little Children

The Runny Honey
You put your right foot out,

You put your left foot out,

You put your right foot out again,

And you keep going like that.

You get all runny, honey

And you wear yourself plumb out.

That’s what it’s is all about.

Where Oh Where Has My Willpower Gone
Oh where, oh where

Has my willpower gone?

Oh where, oh where can it be?

With my workouts cut short 

And my eating all wrong

Oh where, oh where can it be?


Ain’t It Great to Be Healthy?
A horse and a flea and three fat dogs,

Tried to lose the most on their weight loss blogs.

The horse lost a pound and taunted the flea.

“Dammit,” said the flea, “Tain’t fair for me!”



Blog, blog, ain’t it great to be healthy?
Blog, blog, ain’t it great to be healthy?

Happy and hearty the whole day through
Blog, blog, ain’t it great to be healthy?



The Jackey Sh*t Club
Who’s the leader of the club

For folks like you and me?

J-A-C-K-E-Y 
S-H-ASTERISK-T


Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there

It’s time to get healthy!

J-A-C-K-E-Y 
S-H-ASTERISK-T



Jackey Sh*t!

Jackey Sh*t!

Don’t ever let your scale go so

High! High! High! High!



Come along and sing a song

It’s a weight loss jamboree!

J-A-C-K-E-Y 
S-H-ASTERISK-T!

More Weight Loss Songs for the Wee Little Children



Do You Have a Muffin Top?


Oh, do you have a muffin top?

A muffin top, a muffin top?
Do you have a muffin top,
That rests above your waist?


Oh, yes I have a muffin top,
A muffin top, a muffin top.
Yes, I have a muffin top.
But it’s gonna get erased!

The Eensy Weensy Dieter 

The Eensy Weensy Dieter ate a dog with extra kraut.
Up went his weight, and made the dieter pout.
Went out for a run, and away went the gain,
And the Eensy Weensy Dieter 
was happy once again.



My Fannie Lies Over My Waistband
My fannie rides over my waistband,

My fannie rides over my jeans.
My fannie rides over my waistband,
Oh please make my fannie more lean
.
Slim down, slim down, Oh  slim down my fannie for me, for me.
Slim down, slim down, O slim down my fannie for me. 





Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Beer Belly Gone?
Oh where, oh where has my beer belly gone?
Oh where, oh where can it be?

With my meals cut short and my workouts long.

Oh where, oh where can it… oh, I see! It’s all about burning more calories than you consume. So simple!



Whistle While You Work Out



Just whistle while working out.
Da da dada da da (don’t pout)
And cheerfully together
Fat for muscle we'll replace. 

It’ll be less crappy if you stay happy
With a smile upon your face.

And as you sweat and shred

Just try to imagine instead

It’s only a scary nightmare

And that you're back home in bed.

Weight Loss Songs for The Wee Little Children

I'm a Little Crackpot
I'm a not-so-little crackpot
Tall and stout
.
"Jack" is my handle
.
I liked to pig out.

Then I got all steamed up.
Hear me shout
...
“Healthy person locked inside
...
Please come out!”

Skip to My Looney

Poo, Poo, Snack Jackie Poo
Poo, Poo, Snack Jackie Poo
Poo, Poo, Snack Jackie Poo
Snack Jackie Poo, I'm starvin'!


Quit eatin’ Butterfingers,

Shoo, Jack, shoo!
Quit eatin’ Butterfingers.

Shoo, Jack, shoo!
Quit eatin’ Butterfingers.

Milky Ways, too!
Jack Jackie Poo, I'm watchin'.


Poo, Poo, Sad Jackie Poo

Poo, Poo, Sad Jackie Poo

Poo, Poo, Sad Jackie Poo

Jack Jackie Poo, quit sobbin'!


Lost my mojo, what'll I do?
Lost my mojo, what'll I do?
Lost my mojo, you did too?

Jack Jackie Poo, I'm fallin'!

Poo, Poo, Jog Jackie Poo

Poo, Poo, Jog Jackie Poo

Poo, Poo, Jog Jackie Poo

Jack Jackie Poo, we're chargin'!

I’m gonna do this, you are, too.

I’m gonna do this, you are, too.

I’m gonna do this, you are, too.
Jack Jackie Poo, my darlin'!

Old Jack Sh*tter

Old Jack Sh*tter was a fat ol’ man
.
He ate hash browns from the frying pan.
He wore blue jeans that were way too tight
,
And he never could stick to his diet.

Life’s not good for old Jack Sh*tter
.
He just ate an apple fritter.

Fritter’s gone, makes him go nuts
.
He just left to get more donuts.

Old Jack Sh*tter went to town
.
Stopped at every buffet around.
Ate like it was some kind of sickness
.
Put three restaurants out of business.

Get out the way for ol’ Jack Sh*tter
.
Obesity has made him bitter.
Bitter now, but better he’ll be
,
When he quits being so B-I-G.

Jack finally started to fly straight.
Begun doing something ‘bout his weight
.
Got a fire–not food–in his belly
.
Excercising and eating healthy.

Get out the way for new Jack Sh*tter.
Providing health tips there on Twitter.
Twitter, sure, and he’s got a blog, too
.
He sure hopes you'll get more fit, too.

A Few More Weight Loss Songs for Kids

This Fat Man

This fat man, he played one.
He ate crap and weighed a ton.
With a big-snack, fatty-Jack, eat until you groan.

This fat man came rolling home.



This fat man, he played two.

Finally decided that he was through.

Give your snack-back, fatty-Jack, into the unknown.

This fat man quit rolling home.



This fat man, he played three.

He is starting to break free.

With a good-snack, fatty-Jack, now you’re in the zone.

This fat man comes jogging home.



This fat man, he played four.

 Never gonna be like he was before.

With a healthy-snack, fitter-Jack, solid as a stone.

This fit man is rolling on.




I’ve Been Working On My Waistline

I've been workin’ on my waistline,

All the live long day.
I've been workin’ on my waistline,

Not happy with what I weigh.

Don’t you see up here blogging?

Postin’ so early in the morn.
When I have a good weigh-in, 

It’s “Jackie, toot your horn!”

Jackie, won't you toot,

Jackie, won't you toot,

Jackie, won't you toot your horn?

Jackie, won't you toot,

Jackie, won't you toot,

Jackie, won’t you… ohhhh… who tooted?



I'm Jack Sh*t The Bloggin' Man

I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man,
I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man. 

I work up my heart rate,
I’m headin’ to goal weight. 

I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man.

I’m one ignoramus
Who blogs about weight loss,
And tries to keep things more light.
I tweet some and blog some,
And try to be awesome.
Some suck, but some are all right.

If anyone wants to read my screed,
Go to Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit (if you can).
It’ll help change your behavior.
I’m your weight loss savior.
That’s Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man.

I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man,
I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man.
I may act all farcical,

But it’s my weight loss chronicle.
I'm Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man.

Even More Weight Loss Songs for Kids

Yankee Doodle Fatty

Jackie Doodie went to town,
Sad about his bigness.
Decided to visit a buffet,
And put it out of business.
 


Jackie Doodie, keep it up.
Jackie Doodie, fatty.
Keep on chowing down like that,
And life will end quite badly.

Jackie Doodie went on a diet,
Cut back on snacks and candy.
Lost a bunch of weight, by God,
And now he’s feelin’ dandy.

Jackie Doodie, keep it up.
Jack Doodie, healthy.
Keep on eating like you should
And your future’ll be more carefree.

Jackie Doodie went to the gym,
And ran upon the treadmill,
That’ll do more for your bod
That being overfed will.

Jackie Doodie, keep it up.
Jack Doodie, sweaty.
Running isn’t quite so tough
Without that big ol’ belly.

It's A Not-So-Small World

It’s a world of fashion, a world of play.
It’s a world of fun, it’s a world not-so-gray.

There’s so much we can do,
When we’re not the size of two.

We’re getting smaller, after all

.

We’re getting smaller, after all.
We’re getting smaller, after all.
We’re getting smaller after.
It’s a tall, tall task.

There is just one life and one golden chance.
To get ourselves more fit and wear skinnier pants.
It’s time for us to decide
We don’t wanna be so wide.
In this small, small world.

Frère Jack Sh*t

Are you snacking, are you snacking?

Blogger Jack, Blogger Jack?
Weigh-in day is coming,
Weigh-in day is coming.
Damn damn damn, damn damn damn.