Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Weigh-In Wednesday: A Footloose Man

You can’t always get what you want.

No.

You can’t always get what you want.

But…

If you try sometime...

You might find

You get

A half-pound loss.


THE WEEKLY PHYSIQUELY

Weight when I first started blogging: 291.5 lbs.
Last weigh-in: 267.6
Current weight: 267.1
Loss: .5 lbs.
Total loss since re-start: 2.9 lbs.

Goal for coming week: Start me up!


Sunday, September 14, 2014

Just A Few More Weight-Loss Songs for the Wee Little Children

Bleak Big Blobs of Bulgy Bulky Belly Fat

Bleak big blobs of bulgy bulky belly fat
Weighty lazy whalelike waist, chubby chins below my face.
Bleak big blobs of bulgy bulky belly fat
Time to put down my spooooon.

*great big disappointed sigh*
  
Weigh-Oh

Weigh-oh, Wei-ei-ei-ohhhh
Weigh-in come and me wan’ go down.
Weigh, me say weigh, me say weigh, me say weigh…
Weigh-in come and me wan’ go down.

Work all night on a Coke and rum.
Weigh-in come and me don’t go down.
Eat all I wanna til the mornin’ come.
Weigh-in come and me don’t go down.

It’s eight o’clock, nine o’clock, ten ‘clock BRUNCH!
Weigh-in come and me don’t go down.
Ten-thirty, eleven-ten, eleven-twenty LUNCH!
Weigh-in come and me don’t go down.

Weigh-oh, Wei-ei-ei-ohhhh
Weigh-in come and me wan’ go down.
Weigh, me say weigh, me say weigh, me say weigh…
Weigh-in come and me wan’ go down.

Come, Mister Jacky Man, don’t eat all you wanna.
Weigh-in come and you wan’ go down.
A sensible lunch and an afternoon banana.
Weigh-in come and you wan’ go down.

Weigh-in come and you wanta go down.

The Pants Go Inching Down

The pants go inching down one size, hurrah, hurrah
!
The pants go inching down one size, hurrah, hurrah!
The pants go inching down one size,
I’m glad I gave up those French fries.

I love how it feels when

The pants go inching down.

All-You-Can-Tweet Special

If you're not following me over at @JackSht on Twitter... well, you're missing out on some quality health and wellness (not to mention Life) information...

• OH GROSS! A bug just flew in my mouth! Oh wait... it was a cookie. Nevermind...

• I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.

• Here's an easy way to remember when to use "your" and "you're": they're completely interchangeable!

• Some people just can't take de-constructive criticism.

• Twitter tip: Always refrain from making fun of other peoples'  hopes, dreams and fears. THAT'S MY SPECIAL THING!!!!!!!!!!!!

• I am never not more proud that when I successfully include a double negative inside a tweet.  #doublenegativeking 

• Smiles are all the payment I ever need, which explains my really crappy retirement portfolio.

• Health tip: If you’re a zombie, instead of brains, why not try half brains and half cottage cheese?

• Click HERE to read my article "How to Easily Create Hyperlinks". What? It didn't work? Dammit... 

• If you don't love what you do, why do it? Oh yeah, because they give you a paycheck. Carry on! 

• When the world gives you life, make lifenade.

• Dammit! The guy that was gonna help me convert my blog to a Ponzi scheme took my money and ran off. THAT IS BS!!! 
  
• Happiness is the best revenge (but keying up their car is a close second). 

• Health tip: Always... wait, I meant "never"... dammit, I screwed this tweet up and now there's no way to go back and fix it!




Friday, September 12, 2014

Big ol’ Chubbies



Over the hills and dunes and such,
Big ol’ chubbies eat too much…
1
2
3
4 helpings,
Big ol’ chubbies!

Time for big ol’ chubbies,
Time for big ol’ chubbies,
Time for big ol’ chubbies....

Snacky Jacky. “Snacky Jacky!”
Ton-sy. “Ton-sy!”
Stephen. “Stephen!”
Sean. “Sean!”
Losing chubbies. “Losing chubbies!”
Now it’s on! “It’s on!”

Snacky Jacky.
Ton-sy.
Stephen.
Sean.
Big ol’ chubbies. “Big ol’ chubbies!”
Say Heeeeeee ......... “Uh-oh!”

Where have the big ol’ chubbies gone?
Where have the big ol’ chubbies gone?
 








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