If you have trouble sticking to a diet, I’m ready to stick it to you.
That’s right, for a limited time, I’m offering my revolutionary weight loss tool: Jack Sh*t’s “Don’t Eat Sh*t” Diet Wrap™. One small strip, applied daily, can drastically increase your odds for weight loss success. Best of all, you can eat whatever you want while wearing it! Craving some cheesecake, nachos or an entire pizza? Strap on the patented “Don’t Eat Sh*t” Diet Wrap™ and go to town. I have never heard anyone complain that it doesn’t work.
Act now and I’ll throw in a roll of Jack Sh*t’s “Don’t Eat Sh*t” Diet Wrap™, Jr., the smaller size version that’s great for kids, pets and gift wrapping.
Phone lines are open… call now.
Side effects include gummy mouth, sticky skin and asphyxiation. Do not use if pregnant or allergic to tape.