Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Like Barbie Says...

..."Math is hard!"

I was doodling around with my weight loss numbers, trying to find a new way to feel good about myself, when I realized that I f*cked them up six ways to Sunday.

First, I shorted myself a pound on the first week's weigh-in. It was 14.5 pounds, not 13.5 lbs. Impressive, yes, but remember that my initial weigh-in was while wearing big heavy sneakers (hey, this ain't Jack Sh*t's first rodeo, boys and girls).

Next, I owe my scale a humbe and sincere apology. I went on a blue-streak rant about it a couple of weeks ago for giving me the second-week gutshot of a 1.3 pound gain, even though I swore to all who would listen that I had been good as gold.

Turns out that I actually had a 5.2 lb. loss that week. Addition, subtraction... hey, I think I missed that week in grade school.

Finally, I shorted myself a pound on my total so far. Using this new-fangled device I learned about called a "calculator," I discovered that my true loss is 25.8 lbs. in just this side of a month. Even discounting the sneaker cheat to get the ball rolling, I think I can live with that number.

Two questions:

1. Who volunteers to go behind me and check my math going forward?
2. Did I really put a picture of Barbie on a weight loss blog?

UPDATE: Whoops, I missed a weekly weigh-in in my original calculations, so my math wasn't quite as sucky as I thought.

UPDATE 2: You really, really don't want to google "Fat Barbie."


  1. Dude, calculators are your friends. Use them. LOL At least it was in your favor!!

  2. I puffy heart my calculator.

    looks like that barbie is gonna get sh*t on by that passing bird. lol


    oh! WTG on the 25.8!

  3. I talked to my 7 year old about it and he said he'd do it for you even though adding and subtracting was so last year ;) But BIG KUDOS on the loss!!!

  4. calculators and excel spreadsheets with formulas made up in the cells in them are my best friend.

  5. WTG however it breaks down week by week! And thanks for the google warning.

  6. Wow. You and Barbie... got something goin' on?

  7. Oh yeah... me and B got history. I threw some of my wife's and daugters' old dolls away last summer while they were out of town and guess who got put on the semi-permanent sh*t-list. Hint: not Barbie.

  8. I suck at math too. Lucky for me weight changes are not usually greater than what I can count on my fingers, which btw, never need recharging! :)

  9. Ever since you posted this, I have had the song, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world" going through my head while thinking of you. lmao ;-)

    I think I'll take your warning and NOT google fat barbie.

    I still have my childhood barbies and my sister's bubble head barbie which would be worth a lot of money had I not given her a massive haircut.

    Congrats on your awesome loss!

  10. I cracked. I googled fat barbie. LOL. LOL. LOL.

    Lovin' the numbers mister.

  11. Thanks jo no really I wanted that f*ing song stuck in my head.



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