Saturday, May 16, 2009

Satuday Ramblings

Saturday’s are generally slow days here at Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit Enterprises. People (me included) are busy living their lives on the weekend. Weight loss blogs are workday distractions, for the most part. A minute-or-two diversion from a spreadsheet, from a sales report, from a load of laundry. Saturdays ought to be blog-free days, in my opinion, but we’ve got bills to pay (I do get paid to do this, right?).

* * *

My mother smoked regularly for thirty or so years. She may have wanted to quit, but I don’t remember her ever trying very hard. My father smoked, too, so nobody was putting much if any pressure on her.

Then her older sister, a smoker like her, was diagnosed with lung cancer. She watched her die slowly, slowly and with heart-breaking pain.

Mom put down the cigarettes after the funeral and quit cold turkey. Dad wasn’t so interested in quitting, but he didn’t really have a say in the decision. It was over.

Today if you light a cigarette around my mother, you’d best be prepared for a lecture that might light your eyebrows on fire. She won’t hold her tongue and she won’t hold back.

I was at Costco last night, when I was nearly rear-ended by a rather large woman eating a huge Eskimo pie and driving one on those little motorized shopping carts. The cart’s basket was loaded down with the biggest assortment of absolute crap you’ve ever seen. Jumbo bag of M&M’s, chips, Oreo’s, Fruit Loops… and a case of generic brand weight-lose shakes.

“Beep, beep,” she said, angling her Little Rascal around me and my cart.

I watched her whiz by me, the little cart working mightily to carry her massive frame down the jumbo-sized aisles, and a dozen thoughts and scenarios raced through my mind.

  • You should go snatch the key from her scooter and make her come after it; that would probably be the most exercise she’s had this week.
  • You should engage her and talk frankly about nutrition and obeisity… explain to her that she’s racing toward the abyss in a little clown car.
  • Tell her if she can’t do it for herself, do it for those two kids I imagine you have, back at home chomping on Doritos and playing video games on this bright sunny afternoon.
  • Scream at her: “This is the only life we get. Do you want to live yours’ like this?”
  • Grab her ice cream and eat it all in one bite (I hadn’t had an Eskimo pie in ages…)

Of course, I did nothing but say “Excuse me,” and wrestle my cart out of the way. I purchased by bananas and frozen fruit and went on my merry way.

Try as you might, you can’t rescue everyone. That’s something my mother would probably tell me.

But she’d also tell me this: you can rescue yourself.


  1. Good analogy. Good points once again.


  2. You might of had a fight on your hands if you tried to grab her pie--I mean ice cream lol

    Her food choices were nothing but frustrating as far as I am concerned, but then again who am I to judge.

    As I scrolled down to read your post today that granny-wallpaper award catches the corner of my eye and makes me laugh! lol

    :) happy weekend to ya!

  3. Amen. Maybe if some stranger had walked up to me while I scarfed down a McDonald's extra large Quarter Pounder meal, I would have lost this weight for good a long time ago...

  4. It is heartbreaking to see someone drowning in their own bad habits. You want to toss a life preserver to them but most of the time they don't want it.
    The decision to change doesn't come from the outside but form within. Someone or something may inspire us but ultimately it's up to each individual to make that crucial decision to work towards a better life. And the best thing I can do (or anyone else, in my opinon) is to be a living example. I'm not there yet but I'm at least an example of what it looks like to try to swim out of the sea of fat and lethargy to a new life.

    Love your blog man. Write a no nonsense guide to dieting.
    Chapter 1: get off your butt
    Chapter 2: do it again

  5. If you had done any of those bulleted things, the scenario may have escalated from "Beep, beep" to "Go ahead punk, make my day." This would have been shocking in Costco. WalMart, not so much.

    BTW - I get a chuckle out of the lovely blog award graphic too. Cheers.

  6. I am very worried that if they make Eskimos into pies over in the US, what do they do with Scots?

  7. I always tell my son, "Don't worry about others, worry about yourself." Most don't want to listen, to hear it. (I include myself in that category.)

    lol FatFreeMe!

  8. Serious and funny.
    You've got something going on here, my friend!

  9. I often feel extra embarrassed when I'm waddling my fat ass through a grocery store with a few snacky items in my cart. I feel like everyone in there is staring into my cart and silently judging me. If anyone ever came up to me and reminded me that I'm a giant fattie who doesn't need Cheetos, I'd probably go home and die of embarrassment.

    Trust me, there's not an obese person in the world who doesn't realize they're fat and that they're killing themselves. You did the right thing saying nothing. Hopefully eventually she'll want to change for herself before it's too late, but you saying it to her will probably just end up making you both feel like shit.

    Just my two cents. I fucking hate when people think they need to step in and tell me I'm fat. Sorry, I forgot for two seconds. Albeit, I'm not in a cart...yet. But still. She knows.

  10. Of course you're right, Tricia. It's a free world, and I certainly wouldn't want anybody getting on to me about the choices I make in my own life. Plus, she sure did look happy working over that Eskimo pie...

  11. Watching Half Ton Dad/Mom/Teen really made me realize how many people are enablers of that kind of eating. It's so sad. And people may think unkind things when they see my cart. My son's medical condition requires a high fat/high calorie diet, so the things I buy for him are all the things most of us should stay away from. Then I also have the healthy things my husband and I eat. SO to an outsider, it probably looks like I'm a little bipolar. ;-)

  12. great post and I wonder if other's think this as they see my cart, with weight watchers ice cream?

  13. That's great!
    I often wonder what people think of me pushing my cart around full of healthy food and I'm "She must be shopping for her grandma"
    But seriously I see people who are bigger than me and I feel like I just want to reach out. I am miserable, I can't imagine how they must feel. Some people just don't want the help. All you can do is help your self, you're right.

  14. When I read this post it brought on all kinds of emotions. I've never been in a scooter but I can remember the days of going to the grocery and that being the only thing I could muster up to do in a day. It would exhaust me to just walk around a store shopping. I remember the items in my cart and I would feel embarrassed by them. I would remember looking at the healthy peoples carts and seeing all the fruits and veggies they were buying.

    I think I'm with Tricia on this one though that I would have died if someone had ever said something to me. I must say though that the people on the scooters running into everyone and thinking they own the isles drives me nuts lol. I feel like if you are disabled by obesity you should at least let the cart drivers go ahead of you, kind of like letting the pedestrian have the right of way on the road. Just my two cents.

    The way you talked about your mom and her sister makes me think how I feel about diabetes with my aunt that slowly lost her kidneys, sight, ability to walk and eventually her life. It does make a person passionate and I say your mom has a right to be and good for her.

    Good good post Jack, thanks for posting on the weekends. I'm not always here either but it's always great to come and see a good post from someone.



Related Posts with Thumbnails