Friday, May 15, 2009

Fitness Center Conversation Starters

  • “Do you think these leg warmers are too 80’s?”
  • “So, are you trying to lose weight or are you just a sado-masochist?”
  • “Whew, I really shouldn’t have had that fourth burrito…”
  • “Does this sweatband make me look fat?”
  • “I heard this gym is haunted by a Civil War-era weightlifter ghost.”
  • “How come nobody ever brings donuts up here?”
  • “I can bench press a Mazda.”
  • “My gluteusis is feeling rather maximus today.”
  • “Are you using that machine you’re working out on?”
  • “How many points are in a bottle of Gatorade?”
  • “Isn’t it weird how taco shells and tortilla chips taste so much alike?”
  • “My iPod is filled with nothing but Spanish lullabyes and Rush Limbaugh podcasts.”
  • “I’m feeling all exercisy!”
  • “Every time I do a push-up, I think about those orange sherbet treats with the sticks. What were those called?”
  • “Is that personal trainer a man or a woman?”
  • “Do they have anything lighter than 2 lb. dumbbells?”
  • “Which one is the lucky treadmill?”
  • “Will you spot me… five bucks?”
  • “Is that one of those cellular telephones?”
  • “I usually do my workouts in the Play Area at McDonald’s.”
  • “I’ve got some mental instability issues, and my psychiatrist says I need to make new friends. Hi!”
  • “So, have you read my blog?”


  1. "I was just diagnosed with swine flu. *sneeze*"

    "I don't believe in deoderant. How about you?"

    "Can I borrow your sweat towel?"

    "*belch* Tacos don't taste so good the second time around!"

    Yes, the gym can be a grab bag of fun.

  2. i think i'm tired - but the 'exercisey' and 'cellular telephone' ones made me laugh out loud in my office. haha.

  3. Is that a dumbbell in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  4. I'm feeling all exercisy! Funny stuff.

  5. My gluteusis is feeling rather know that sounds strangly like the line my hubby used on me the first time we met..."Your gluteusis is looking rather maximus today". And then he wonders why I told him exactly where he could go? Ah well, he must have made up for it at some point because I did end up marrying the guy.

  6. You are a writer for SNL, right??

  7. "Those sweat rings around your belly make you look really skinny."

    That's all I got. :-)

    Thanks for making me laugh every day!

  8. Note to self- Do not drink ANY liquids while reading this blog! I look like I entered a wet tee shirt contest! lol
    Thanks for the giggles!


  9. okay..I spewed on a couple of these. HP is gonna hate me if I have to call them for a repair.!

  10. You are hilarious! So glad that I dropped by:) I think about those orange sherbet treats too! Haven't seem them in ages!

  11. I was on the bike at the gym and I really, really, really wanted to take the "So, have you read my blog?" line out for a spin, just to see the look on the woman's face next to me.

    As always, thanks for the kind words and kooky comments. You folks make my day.

  12. You make my day!
    Genius. Really wish I had the guts to try some of these out. I think it would cause a gym revolution!



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