Wednesday, December 22, 2010

More Holiday Party Helpers

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, it’s difficult to get through a holiday party and not come tumbling off the weight-loss wagon. But I’d rather light a candle than curse the darkness, so here’s some helpful tips to help you party a little less hearty…

  • Try a plate full of my Nothing Turnovers; they’re just a generous helping of Nothing, sprinkled with savory Nothing, and baked inside a flaky Nothing shell

  • Get to the party six or seven hours early so you can scout out the food table and plan accordingly

  • When no one’s looking water down the liquor, eggnog and cocktail weiners

  • Bring your Twister game and demand that everyone play

  • Don't stand near the hors d'oeuvres. In fact, stand facing the corner as far from the food as possible


  • If someone asks why you’re not drinking, laugh and say “I’m an alcoholic”

  • Implement the “15-minute rule” - give yourself that much time before you get anything to eat, and then chew each bite for 15 minutes

  • Carry a “Self-Control Whistle” and blow it as loud as you can every five minutes

  • Don’t like carrots, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes or radishes?  Try crudités instead

  • Vow to only eat foods that being with the letter “K”


  • Self-esteem is a powerful tool in losing weight, so introduce yourself as “Skinny McPenny”



15 comments:

  1. I tried that "Twister" idea once at work.
    But everyone thought I was flirting with them!
    Actually got a few offers, though!
    ;)

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  2. Uh oh, you know what food starts with a K? Kitty food!

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  3. so you are saying it's okay to eat Krispy Kreme's...hmmm I knew I was in trouble!

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  4. Jack, you and yoru hilarious sense of humour are SO invited to any party at our house!!! :) Have a great Wednesday.

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  5. "Carry a 'Self-Control Whistle' and blow it as loud as you can every five minutes" made me literally LOL. Thanks for sharing the hilarity!

    *HUGS*

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  6. Hahahaha! I love this. It's a great plan. I will be following these rules. ;)

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  7. I can make Kake start with a "K". Kookies too! Krab dip....

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  8. Carry a “Self-Control Whistle” and blow it as loud as you can every five minutes---I will be the life of the party!

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  9. Sounds like a sure fire way for people to flock to you. I like it!

    I love the "I'm an alcoholic" bit. I could use that on a regular basis. Then I won't feel so left out around all of my alchoholic friends.

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  10. Rules to live by! :) Now excuse me I'm going to go have some Kandy and Kake.

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  11. Got a good laugh over this. But doesn't Kandy begin with K???? YUM... And Kookies.... and Kegs of.... wait, this isn't helping!

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  12. laugh and say "I'm an alcoholic". too funny...I always love the awkward silence after that declaration. too much.

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