Wednesday, December 22, 2010

More Holiday Party Helpers

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, it’s difficult to get through a holiday party and not come tumbling off the weight-loss wagon. But I’d rather light a candle than curse the darkness, so here’s some helpful tips to help you party a little less hearty…

  • Try a plate full of my Nothing Turnovers; they’re just a generous helping of Nothing, sprinkled with savory Nothing, and baked inside a flaky Nothing shell

  • Get to the party six or seven hours early so you can scout out the food table and plan accordingly

  • When no one’s looking water down the liquor, eggnog and cocktail weiners

  • Bring your Twister game and demand that everyone play

  • Don't stand near the hors d'oeuvres. In fact, stand facing the corner as far from the food as possible

  • If someone asks why you’re not drinking, laugh and say “I’m an alcoholic”

  • Implement the “15-minute rule” - give yourself that much time before you get anything to eat, and then chew each bite for 15 minutes

  • Carry a “Self-Control Whistle” and blow it as loud as you can every five minutes

  • Don’t like carrots, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes or radishes?  Try crudités instead

  • Vow to only eat foods that being with the letter “K”

  • Self-esteem is a powerful tool in losing weight, so introduce yourself as “Skinny McPenny”


  1. I tried that "Twister" idea once at work.
    But everyone thought I was flirting with them!
    Actually got a few offers, though!

  2. Uh oh, you know what food starts with a K? Kitty food!

  3. so you are saying it's okay to eat Krispy Kreme's...hmmm I knew I was in trouble!

  4. Jack, you and yoru hilarious sense of humour are SO invited to any party at our house!!! :) Have a great Wednesday.

  5. "Carry a 'Self-Control Whistle' and blow it as loud as you can every five minutes" made me literally LOL. Thanks for sharing the hilarity!


  6. Hahahaha! I love this. It's a great plan. I will be following these rules. ;)

  7. I can make Kake start with a "K". Kookies too! Krab dip....

  8. Carry a “Self-Control Whistle” and blow it as loud as you can every five minutes---I will be the life of the party!

  9. Sounds like a sure fire way for people to flock to you. I like it!

    I love the "I'm an alcoholic" bit. I could use that on a regular basis. Then I won't feel so left out around all of my alchoholic friends.

  10. Rules to live by! :) Now excuse me I'm going to go have some Kandy and Kake.

  11. Got a good laugh over this. But doesn't Kandy begin with K???? YUM... And Kookies.... and Kegs of.... wait, this isn't helping!

  12. laugh and say "I'm an alcoholic". too funny...I always love the awkward silence after that declaration. too much.



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