Friday, December 3, 2010

Signs You’re Not Giving 100% During Your Workout

  • Clothes actually smell better after you’re finished

  • You just logged a .5K run

  • Personal trainer keeps using you as example of what not to do

  • Guy with no arms is bench pressing more than you

  • Favorite machine:  ElevatorMaster

  • You have to ask somebody which direction to walk on treadmill

  • You’re using an inflatable kettlebell

  • According to elliptical readout, you almost burned a calorie

  • You spend 95% of your workout time “limbering up”

  • You rest so long between sit-ups that a nurse walking by starts performing CPR on you

  • You carry a water bottle packed with cherry pie filling

  • You work out in penny loafers

  • Gym nickname:  “Creampuff”

  • You leave car running during your workout

  • Favorite workout playlist on your iPod is nothing but lullabyes

  • Your gluteus never seems to get any less maximus
  • Heart rate monitor continuously flatlines

  • Your “yoga” is just you sitting Indian-style and working a sudoku puzzle


  1. "You carry a water bottle packed with cherry pie filling." ... *yum!*

  2. Elevator master... I've worked the crap out of that machine for years! I'm especially partial to the newfound strength of my index finger from pushing the button.
    Now I'm working on the next finger in line while doing the "Minivan 5K" during rush hour... ;)

  3. Yet another HILARIOUS post to start my day!!! How do you think of these things???? :)

  4. Loved it,especially "According to elliptical readout, you almost burned a calorie" HA!
    Happy Friday Jack :-D

  5. LOL!! Thanks for the laugh. I hope you are smiling today as well :)

  6. Very funny! LOL

    I nearly died laughing at the CPR joke.

  7. There is a dude in my gym that always comes and always looks the same. Fat.
    Always...I have been going for 15 months and the dude looks exactly the same. I am betting on that cherry pie filling thing.

  8. I workout to make my gluteus more maximus ;)

  9. Wish I would have thought if cherry pie filling in my water bottle!

  10. I wonder how many calories limbering up burns?

    Great post.

  11. haha!! ugh - too familiar sounding........

  12. Gluteus is not getting any less maximus!! LOLZ I snorted water onto the laptop! Funny :D



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