Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Bad, Badder, Worstest: Holiday Edition

BAD: You sample one of the Christmas cookies you’re baking.
BADDER: You wolf down all the cookies that don’t come out perfect.
WORSTEST: You sit in the kitchen floor and eat an entire bowl of batter.

BAD: You skip a workout to go to office holiday party.
BADDER: You skip a week of workouts to finish up your Christmas shopping.
WORSTEST: You’ve gone into hibernation.

BAD: You’ve got Advent calendar with Hershey kiss for each day in December.
BADDER: You’ve got Advent calendar with chocolate chip cookie for each day in December.
WORSTEST: You’ve got Advent calendar with cheeseball for each day in December.

BAD: You nibbled a bit too much at holiday party.
BADDER: You’ve had a few drinks and a couple plates of party food.
WORSTEST: You pulled up a chair to the buffet table.

BAD: You ate a miniature candy cane.
BADDER: You ate a regular-sized candy cane.
WORSTEST:  You ate a candy cane that’s bigger than your leg.

BAD: You’ve put off marathon training because it’s too cold.
BADDER: You’ve put off 5K training becaue it’s too cold.
WORSTEST: You’re training for a “Glee” marathon.

BAD:  Your sweaters are getting a little tight.
BADDER: You can’t button any of your jeans.
WORSTEST: You’ve got a layered look going before you get dressed.

BAD: At Starbucks, you order Gingerbread Latte with skim, but with whipped cream.
BADDER: At Starbucks, you order a regular Gingerbread Latte with whipped cream.
WORSTEST: At Starbucks, you order regular Gingerbread Latte with gingerbread house.

BAD: You popped a button.
BADDER: You ripped your pants.
WORSTEST: You broke Santa’s lap.

BAD:  You pour eggnog on your breakfast cereal.
BADDER: You ate candy from child’s stocking and blamed it on the dog.
WORSTEST: Friend points out that you’re wearing Christmas tree skirt.

BAD: You ate the chocolates that were supposed to go in the kids’ stocking.
BADDER: You ate the cinnamon buns you were saving for Christmas morning.
WORSTEST: You ate the mistletoe.

BAD: You let your gym membership expire.
BADDER: You’re using your workout DVDs as Christmas ornaments.
WORSTEST: You’ve asked Santa for an industrial-sized FryDaddy.

BAD: You had to poke a new hole in your belt.
BADDER: You wear sweatpants to Christmas Mass.
WORSTEST: You had to let out your Santa Claus costume.

BAD: You can’t stand up to watch entire holiday parade.
BADDER: Other carolers point out that your mouth is full of taffy.
WORSTEST: You go for sleigh ride and two horses keel over dead.

BAD:  You ate half a fruitcake.
BADDER: You chugged a quart of boiled custard.
WORSTEST: You ate the cookies your children left out for Santa… while they watched.


  1. So funny... I am linking you from my FB page. Thanks for making me smile!

  2. "You broke Santa's lap"..."You ate a candycane bigger than your leg"...

    I'm laughing so hard the guys in the office think I've flipped.

  3. But...those DVDs look so pretty and SHINY on the tree!

  4. LOL! The hibernation idea doesn't sound half bad on those cold days. ;)

  5. wow, never thought of pulling a chair up to the buffet table--classic! :-D

  6. Eating the mistletoe. Classic. Thought I'd share my own with you. I may have over done it.

    BAD: You made Christmas Cookies for everyone and then secretly snuck your finger in the frosting for a lick.

    BADDER: When the kids left the room you quickly dunked several cookies in the frosting like it was dip.

    WORST: You ate all the cookie dough raw and then sat on the kitchen floor sobbing into a bowl of frosting (that you're currently eating) and crying while singing "Santa Baby" in your best self loathing (albeit Christmasy) voice.

  7. I laughed in real life and everything.

    Layered look before you get dressed really got me, though. I hope that's not me!

  8. Hilarious as usual Jack - you make me smile ;-)

  9. "You pour eggnog on your breakfast cereal." Ewww!!!

    Good: You were IN the holiday parade - walking while pushing a stroller.
    Better: You just ran a 5k.
    Best: You're planning on buying youself a new wardrobe for Christmas because everything is too loose.

    Just looking on the postive side! Merry Christmas, Jack!

  10. I cant eat the missel toe toooo? darn

  11. haha cant spell it either lmao


    its late my brain shut off an hour ago

  12. Love it. I'm fighting off the urge to go into hibernation... Thanks for the giggle! ::grin::

  13. Sign me up for the cheeseball advent calendar!!!

  14. dude, my cheeseball is epic...and darn tasty. I was laughing hard at the candy cane one because I have been having one a day (only 40 calories) but the one as big as a leg...probably more.

  15. Don't be dissin my advent calendar; cheeseballs are very spiritual to me.

    - Kirsten



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