Tips to Survive a Vacation Without a Big Gain
When you go out to a restaurant, order the thing that looks the least appetizing.
- For every mile you drive, pull over and run a mile.
- Instead of a car, consider renting some sort of giant pedal-powered vehicle of some kind.
- If you’re traveling in another country, tell everyone you meet that you’re an American; you’ll get plenty of exercise running for your life.
- If you go to the beach, feel free to eat all the sand you want.
- When you’re flying, try to not eat the entire 1 oz. bag of complimentary pretzels.
- Chasing kids around burns a ton of calories; if you don’t have kids of your own, chase someone else’s.
- When you’re traveling, one of the best things to do is to sample the delicious local delicacies. For God's sake, don’t do it!
- Cut your portion size in half… then cut it in half again… then one more time… then one final time. What? Is that all I get? Damn!
- It's hard to keep up with how much you're walking when you're sightseeing in a different city, so get a cabbie to drive alongside you and keep up with your distance.
- When you order a drink, have the ice served on the side.
- At restaurants, make sure you order your food to be prepared EXACTLY like you want it. No butter, low salt, no spices. Don’t worry about requesting “no spit” because there’s going to be plenty of spit on there.
- Hiking is a fun way to get a lot of exercise and ruin your vacation.
HAving worked in restaurants for years, I laughed especially hard at the No Spit one.
ReplyDeleteHaving the ice served on the side...interesting. Could make for more room for the liquor.
ReplyDeleteYou still get complimentary pretzels when you fly? What airline is that??
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the easiest one, go wilderness tripping and you'll lose weight, possibly all of you if you can't keep to the trail. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat! I'm leaving for a roadtrip in a few days. We're hitting a couple of beaches, and I had no idea what I was going to eat the whole time. I never thought about the sand. Cheap AND plentiful! You're a genius...
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious, thank you! And regarding the "Cut portion size in half", I've never seen Zeno's Paradox applied to weight loss before. :)
ReplyDeleteHAHA I can't wait to follow these tips when I go to South Beach this week ;)
ReplyDeleteActually, I will be following the hiking one -- we're heading up to Glacier National Park at the end of next week, and hiking will be the order of the day!
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about running for each mile we drive... hmm... ;)
Great (and timely!) post!
ReplyDeleteDo you think spit is more of a carb or a protein?
"At restaurants, make sure you order your food to be prepared EXACTLY like you want it. No butter, low salt, no spices. Don’t worry about requesting “no spit” because there’s going to be plenty of spit on there.
Hiking is a fun way to get a lot of exercise and ruin your vacation."
Fantastic! I am leaving for a very long road trip. What I thought would be 2 days on the road, with running a mile for every mile, will now be...hmm...8 days. I am leaving tomorrow instead of next week.
ReplyDeleteVery nice, I'm going to Oregon for a week at the end of the month and I wasn't sure what I was going to weight-loss and exercise wise, but that chasing kids thing is a good idea. I'm Canadian, do you guys have strict laws against that in the States?
ReplyDeleteEmilia @ [238] and Shrinking
Heading out for almost 2 weeks tommorow. I really want to reach my goal for the month. I am actually bringing some exercise equipment with me.
ReplyDeleteI love your posts!
ReplyDeleteI am totally going to do the whole drive a mile then run a mile thing on our next vacation--and I'm going to pull the car on a chain behind me while I run. I'm trying to incorporate more strength training into my regular cardio workouts.
ReplyDeleteLove the drive a mile, run a mile strategy...
ReplyDeleteThis is soooo good Jack. I wish you'd written it before I went on holidays and gained 3.6kg (yep, that's 7.96lbs)
ReplyDeleteIf you're traveling with your spouse via car, follow my husband's suggestion - "Honey, I'll drive and you can tie a rope around your waist and run along behind."
ReplyDeleteI have found a cooler full of celery sticks and water helps. It's actually pretty pleasant for the first two days or so..... replaces a dreadful lunch on the road. I guess it's my version of the old diet drink plan - eggs for breakfast, celery for lunch and then a sensible dinner. And perhaps some wine.
Or you could just go to Seattle :-)
ReplyDeleteI did most my eating from the Pike Street market, so you know I was sampling the local noms( absurdly huge shrimp, oxymoron and all ) And walking those hills - I lost 5 lbs :D