You see, there’re these two guys out deer hunting, and the fatter one of the two suddenly collapses from an apparent heart attack (the fact that he’s obese doesn’t really play much of factor in this story, but this is a weight-loss blog, and it’s always good to remember that obesity can lead to heart disease).Anyway, the one who dropped down doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed over. The other guy is all in a panic, jerks out his cell phone and quickly dials 9-1-1.
The hunter breathlessly gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What do I do?”
The operator replies in a calm, soothing voice: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.”
There is a silence.
Suddenly a shot rings out.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?”
Now what?
I seem to be having difficulty getting my “go” going lately, and I suspect it has something to do with the lack of a definitive goal. I got under 200 lbs., and then I fluttered around for the past few months, adding a pound here and there (along with a little muscle, I'd like to think).
And this little ol’ bloggity blog? What’s the master plan, other than “keeping on keeping on”? I don’t know, to be perfectly honest. I thought about littering the site with a lot of advertising and then using the proceeds to buy some stamps, but then I read that they’re going up to 46¢ apiece I decided it probably wasn’t worth the effort.
I’m getting on an airplane tomorrow with my wife Anita and my youngest daughter Pisa (who invented this kick-ass time machine yesterday ... it really works!).
We’re winging our way to the Great Northwest to visit Anita’s sister and to spend a little time someplace that isn’t 100° by 9 a.m.
I blogged like a dog so that I could pre-load a week’s worth of JSGF (I shudder to think what would happen if a day passed and you didn’t get a little Jack Sh*t… I know how you get!), so I guess I'm going to relax and recharge a little.
And perhaps figure out the answer to that question that seems to be nagging me…
“Now what?”
LOL! That joke was sooo bad! Have a safe trip, Jack:)
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your trip and relax!!
ReplyDeleteAnother day, another laugh.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you already have something cooking. I think the "what's next?" question is just the teaser.
Jack,
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, the goal is to have a healthy relationship with food and exercise in our everyday lives. So now what? Living, that's what. Living and enjoying the benefit of our efforts, and realizing that "next" doesn't have to be a big elaborate plan--just a continuation of good choices. Don't over-complicate my friend...You're in control and aware like you've never been, right? So, relax and proceed in your new lifestyle---and trust that your improved habits and behaviors with food and exercise are gifts that keep on giving you an enhanced quality of life. Don't let it feel anti-climactic---you've won, my friend, you're living the goal everyday. This is the prize. Enjoy your trip and thank you for the daily Jack Sh*t fix.
Oh--and uh, I have some extra stamps you can have. Although it would be interesting to see how the Google computers would analyze your content for the sake of related advertising. I could see it now, "Lose weight with the amazing laughter diet, just $19.95"
Leave your blog the way it is! Don't put advertising all over it. I'll send you a book of stamps to ensure this if you need me to! Seriously, I know the feeling. I wanted to lose HALF my weight by graduation. I reached close, thought, I have time, and sort of lingered in this 10 lb range for a while now. Today, I got back on the horse. I no longer have much time lol. What drives us to do this to ourselves? When you answer the "Now What?" question, let me know! Until then, I'm riding the horse off into the sunset...
ReplyDeleteOK...First....GREAT PICTURE!!! Second...I hope you have a great time away, and get to recharge and rest. the "Now What" question...well...it's called life, and we just have to keep doing the best we can. Have a great vacation Jack!!
ReplyDeleteHave a great vacation! I can't imagine how long it took you to pre-blog those posts, I look forward to reading them!
ReplyDeleteI sometimes struggle with the direction of my blog too - I figure I have one day of eats, 1 day of workouts, and 1 day of weigh in; so that only leaves 2-3 more posts I need to write a week!
I can't wait to be a part of the "now-what" journey. Both before and after you figure out the answer.
ReplyDeleteHate to break it to ya, but I am in the Great Northwest and um, it is 100 degrees most of the time...
ReplyDeleteHave a great trip - you deserve a vaca! And I agree with Kat, don't fill it up with advertising. I bet you could even get every follower to donate a stamp to your cause with a witty post you are so good at doing. 44 cents x 1459 = living the dream!
ReplyDeleteHave a fun trip!!!
ReplyDeleteLame lame joke today! haa haa haa
Hope you have a great time. Hope you find the answer too. For me, just setting new goals for myself helps, the kind without a number attached.
ReplyDeleteI Sean is on to something.... just live.
ReplyDeleteI recently wrote a post about serenity.... and how this is what I have been lacking. I have this terrible habit of thinking about what is next and what I SHOULD be doing- without any thought to how well I have done... or how living my life today can be great.
Oh, and by the way- I signed up for a 1/2 marathon training class- That is my next goal.
Thanks Jack!
WeighDownSouth.com
The best part of that question is that there are so many different answers open to you now than BEFORE. Think of this as a happy "problem" not a negative. Knowing that you can decide what to do now and you have so many options. That's awesome. Have fun on your trip and be safe!
ReplyDeleteHave a refreshing vacation, Jack (and Mrs Jack and Jackie Jr).
ReplyDeleteI'm in Southern Oregon, and it's supposed to range in the upper nineties all week. Better than 100, huh? But we have lots of tall trees and cool mountain meadows with lakes and streams... enjoy your time off.
Loretta
=^..^=
It's like coming off of crack
ReplyDelete- so they say -
The first year of maintenance is as important
as the year of losing weight.
And it's bound to be boring,
when compared to the wild and crazy ride
we all took together last summer.
Have a safe trip, escape the heat - and come back
to blog your ass off!
Now what? Inspiration will hit and you'll find your way. First, enjoy your trip. It's been lovely here in the NW.
ReplyDeleteget fitter....duh :)
ReplyDeleteJust don't have a permanent vacation. I would miss you very much.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for that time machine!
Ali :)
First, that time machine is way cool!!! I need one to get the hell out of dodge since I can't afford to go with real money! ;-)
ReplyDeleteAs for now what??? I just never hit that. I guess cause I am always a work in progress & there are always things I want to shape on this bod & especially as I get older... I am always just changing it up & finding new ways to make progress.
Me, I say go all out on the Jody weights!!! Did you expect anything less from me!
Have a great one!
I have to have a goal or now what keeps plaguing my efforts. That is part of the reason I toppled again. After reaching my goal and received the no go on running my marathon I had nothing. You'll find your Now what, if all else fails get a book of records and see how long u have to grow your hair to break that record hee hee!
ReplyDeleteHave a good time Jack! You can't ditch your blog man. You have way too many friggin followers to do that!
ReplyDeleteComing to Washington State? I hope you wear that time machine on your head so when I see you on the street I'll recognize you.
ReplyDeleteTell us more about Pisa's invention! It looks amazing!
Awwww.... me too. Although my goal was 130 lbs, And the closest I got was 142... and now I've been stuck at 155 for like nine months... I'm so at the "Now what" stage... Good luck figuring it out. I have thought I found the answer several times this year, but it seems I haven't because I'm still treading water in the same place... Good luck.
ReplyDeleteLOVE the time machine photo!!! So funny!!!
Hey jack, serious serious response to a serious question. I started asking this a while back..the conclusions I came to...
ReplyDeleteIt's like sex in marriage.
If it's good, it's 10 percent..bad it's 90 percent.
While we were losing weight, our weight loss efforst took up 90 percent of our energy. It had to...once you hit goal, it needs to flip. The habits have to be there, they have to be ingrained. Then it's just something you do. what I've been working on is how to handle the calories on my higher calorie days (since I count) as silly as this sounds, counting calories gives me freedom and the tools I need to move into maintenance. I know what I need to eat to lose, to maintain, and what will cause me to gain. Having a plan for maintenance was key for me. I have one and I am not even there yet. I have a plan and am working the plan.
Make a new plan stan.
Get off the bus gus.
Dear Jack,
ReplyDeleteWhat are these "stamps" you speak of?
Sincerely,
The Internet.
Here's the answer to what now. By the way, I discover your blog from Phillips Direct I joined six months ago. Your job sir should you decided to take it is to keeping spreading the word... because as an icu nurse, obesity is becoming our fastest killer. What now, figure out why people eat themselves to death.
ReplyDelete