Friday, June 22, 2012

More Signs You Have a Bad Personal Trainer

• Chain smokes during entire session

• Speaks to you in language he made up himself

• Spends an hour working on your “shintoid” muscles

• Keeps asking “Does that dude look like an undercover cop?”

• Sits on your stomach and trims his toenails while you’re doing bench presses

• Relieves himself in corner behind the elliptical

• Wants you to do set of five “Fire Alarm Pulls”

• Yanks your pants down while you’re trying to chin-ups

• Finishes every sentence with “according to the prophecy”

• His “kettlebell” is a grapefruit with a duct-tape handle

• Offers to be paid with “clean urine”.

• Counts “1…2…8…9… 10!”

Office party tonight... heaven knows what scale will say tomorrow...


  1. Good personal trainers know that a can of soup with a duct tape handle would be more effective.

  2. I live the old "according to prophecy" joke. Saw that several years back and I actually do use it on occasion but, instead of a look of concern or a chuckle, I usually get a confused, What?

  3. YIKES! ;-) Down it goes!!! :-)It is the weekend - CONSISTENCY! :-)

  4. Isn't there some kind of a law against a man this old looking this damn good. Sh*t he is 3 years older than me and the sucker looks younger, gonna go hide in my closet.



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