Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Weight Loss Tips for Weight Losers

• Instead of calories, try consuming something else.

• 

To help remind you to exercise every day, wear workout clothes over your regular ones.



• Remember: "Be like Harry Potter and always drink your water" (I'm pretty sure J.K. Rowling would back me up on this one).



• If you can't afford fresh fruits and vegetables, try writing and selling a screenplay about an undercover cop that plays by his own rules.



• Use the first half of your lunch hour walking and, I suppose,  the second half walking back.



• A really easy way to eat healthier is to hire a personal shopper to purchase all your groceries and a personal chef to prepare all your meals.



• Replace regular fruit with whole wheat fruit.

• 

If you're carrying something heavy during your weigh-in, consider setting it down for a minute.



• Whenever you see a pizza, make a mental image of a Dharma Wheel, which represents the endless cycle of birth and rebirth in Buddhism. The wheel moves from country to country in accordance with changing conditions and people’s karmic inclinations. Buddha’s teachings are said to be wheel-like because, wherever they spread, the people in that area have the opportunity to control their minds by putting them into practice. Or you could just not eat the pizza.



• One way to make yourself run more is to get chased by a mean dog.



• There's one thing that all diets have in common: they're called "diets". I realize that may not help you, but I thought it was interesting. 



• The best way to respond to hurtful comment about your weight is to simply ignore the person, but later send an "apology" from him or her to the IRS for cheating on taxes.

29 comments:

  1. I want a personal chef!!! Get me one! Go!

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  2. I have lost a lot of weight by consuming things other than calories. Email me for a free list.

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  3. Love the whole wheat fruit!

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  4. you are brilliant and sooooooooooo funny! ps i find mean dog chases really speed up the ol metabolism!!!!

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  5. You crack me up, Jack! The walking tip is brilliant! :)

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  6. I enjoyed the tax comment, especially since I just paid mine this week! :)

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  7. I've never run faster in my life then when I got chased by that pitbull down the street!

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