Thursday, February 16, 2012

Field of Healthy Dreams

People will lose weight, Jack.

They’ll lose weight for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up to your blogway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it.

They’ll arrive at your site as overweight as Oprah, longing for the pizzas of the past. Of course, we won’t mind if you look around, you’ll say. It’s only $20 per person.

“$20 per person?” they’ll laugh, and then you’ll let them look at your blog for free because it’s money you have and readers you lack.

And they’ll look over your posts, and they’ll realize that everything they need to eat healthier and get more fit is right there within their grasp. No, not on your blog, dumbass, but within themselves. They’ll find they have reserved spot in a nearby fitness center, where they can move their muscles and drench themselves with sweat. They’ll find their dinner tables loaded with fresh vegetables and healthy foods.

And they’ll watch the results on the scale and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The changes will be so drastic they’ll have to go out and buy new pants.

People will lose weight, Jack. The one constant through all the years, Jack, has been healthy living. America has found itself in an obesity epidemic. It has dieted and gained like a teeter totter, regained and lost again. But healthy living has marked the time.

This journey, this quest: it’s a part of our life, Jack. It reminds of us of how we once felt good and how we could once again. Oh... people will lose weight, Jack. People will most definitely lose weight…


  1. Haha love this reference! If you write it, they will come

  2. Unfortunately, the one TRUE constant over time is that...People will get fat, people will most definitely get fat.

    But you seem to be a 'glass is half full' kinda guy whereas I'm just f*ckin' thirsty. Good post!

  3. Who's the pessimist??? lol Awesome post. :)

  4. You always amuse me, Jack, but sometimes you freakin' astound me. Great post.

  5. I agree, very optimistic, but "I think I can. I think I can."

  6. Wait, are you charging now to read your blog?

  7. Jack, I love it!!! Well played, sir. I linked to this one on my blog.

  8. Alan sent me....going to keep reading, because you had me hooked at the "about me" song...had Jed in my head and all!


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