• Use some combination of these words in the title of every post: “10 ways”, “Sex Life”, “Kardashian”, “My Most Shameful Secret”, “Cancer”, “Sexy Sex Sex” “Recipe”, “Celebrity Sex”, “Food Porn”, “S’more Casserole,” “Sex Tricks”, “Get Rich Quick” “Cutest Kitten Ever,” “Giveaway” and “Get More Readers for Your Stupid Blog.”
• Utilize SEO optimization by tagging each post with every word in the English language.
• Consider well-written and insightful content instead of that stuff that you usually do.
• Don’t talk down to your readers, dumbass!
• Save that calligraphy font for wedding invitations, pul-leaze!
• You’d be surprised at how many visitors a $10,000 cash giveaway will generate.
• Honor double coupons.
• Just make sure every post you write is the single greatest piece of writing ever written.
• Use questionable marketing tactics, such as tweeting “Click HERE to learn the SECRETS to getting more TRAFFIC to my BLOG: www.jackfit.blogspot.com GUARANTEED!”
• Try topless vlogging.
• Offer to grant three wishes to anyone who subscribes to your RSS feed (need to specify that there’s no wishing for more wishes).
Ummmm, I think topless vlogging would actually drive readers away from my blog.
ReplyDeleteDamn. You gave away my trick with S’more Casserole. Do you know how many hits that generates? And how many irate comments?
ReplyDeleteok I had a snark but then FLORIANA's comment made me giggle.
ReplyDeletetopless vlogging is the wave of the monetizing future.
or so they say.
I would topless blog but my wide screen is set to landscape. I would need to find a way to turn it the other way for anyone to see anything because when you lose 220 pounds you get to see how low the girls can go.
ReplyDeleteYou already tried topless pics didn't you? Maybe bottomless is the way to go?
ReplyDeleteToo funny...the comments on topless vlogging are just as funny! Amen to those, ladies!!
ReplyDeleteReaders? We're supposed to have readers? Ah, I knew there was something I was missing about the whole blogging thing!
ReplyDeleteOff goes the top and out come the s'mores I guess...
Oh crap, my last comment makes it sounds like I keep s'mores in my bra.
ReplyDeleteNot yet, anyway...
It's okay Crabby. If you don't have any toasted marshmallows how else are you supposed to melt the chocolate?
ReplyDeleteI'll try the topless thing and see how it goes!
ReplyDeleteWith or without S'mores! THAT is the question.
Topless vlogging...why didn't I think of that?!?!
ReplyDeletethe single greatest piece of writing ever..every single time? HONK HONK!!!!! No.
ReplyDeleteOMG - too funny! Topless - won't do much for my readers - nothing there1 ;-)
ReplyDeleteTopless and s'mores sounds a bit dangerous.
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ReplyDeleteI came to give it a look. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
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