• Instead of doing a “hop, skip and a jump,” do a “hop, skip, gambol, leap, dash, vault romp, prance and a jump.”
• Eat an AA battery for breakfast.
• Don’t skip meals (waitaminute… do people actually do this? Skip meals? Really? Wow…)
• Get off your butt. No, I’m sorry… I meant GET OFF YOUR BUTT!
• Go to bed the night before.
• Starving yourself actually slows down your metabolism, though not quite as much as eating a quart of cheese dip and watching a Storage Wars marathon.
• Coffee drinkers have a 16% higher metabolic rate than those who abstain, according to a study published in Folgers Scientific-Looking Studies.
• Chewing celery actually burns more calories than you take in (especially if you spit it out like I do).
• Drink a 5-hr energy drink every five hours.
I drink about 56 cups of coffee a day so I must be doing it all right. Right? Right?
ReplyDeleteJust ate 2 bunches of celery and didn't lose an ounce - but I got my sodium fix for the day.
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