Thursday, March 10, 2011

If You Give a Binge-Eater a Cookie...

If you give a binge-eater a cookie...

Chances are he’ll want a second one.

And if you give him a second one, you might as well give him the entire box.

And if you give him the entire box of cookies, he’ll probably want a glass of milk to go with it.

And all that sweet stuff will probably make him want some cheese and crackers.

And if you give him some cheese and crackers… well, you’re probably going to have to get him some more cheese and crackers.

And since he’s probably f’ed up his weigh-in at this point, he’ll probably go ahead and order a pizza.

And if he orders a pizza, he’s going to want a beer to go with it.

And then another beer.

And another.

And another.

Etc.

And if he drinks all that beer, he’s probably going to want a little something sweet to settle his tummy.

How about a cookie?




22 comments:

  1. Are you perched on my shoulder, with all your cookie cheese crack beer talk?

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  2. Oh how well you know me Jack. Mmmm....cookies.

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  3. Oh I love this one! It brings me back:)

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  4. That was me on Sunday...
    I really wish I could stop having that cookie.

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  5. Exactly!! My husband told me that a girl at work gave him an oreo & I freaked out (in my mind)--How can you give someone ONE oreo? That's like torture, either give me none or give me the whole box!

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  6. I loved these books. But now that I realize that it teaches our young to eat cookies, muffins, popcorn and all other kinds of sh*t, forget it!
    Thanks for ruining Christmas, Santa!!!!

    Lessons learned: don't eat food larger than head.

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

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  7. AMEN! I remember days like that all too vividly.

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  8. i don't appreciate this glimpse into my life after what shall only be called the "anniversary cake fiasco" last night. D'oh! ;)

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  9. Hey! Why is a picture of me on here?

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  10. Love it!! are you talking about me....?

    :-D

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  11. Hey, good story but what about a little credit to the original thief of the story...huh?

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  12. Well, I would have taken the cookie but now you have me feeling all guilty and stuff.

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  13. Cookie schmookie-
    Who needs em?

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  14. I hate that I relate so much...

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  15. The only thing I would change about this mac n cheese instead of cheese and crackers. lol

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  16. So so true. I'll pass on the cookie. ;)

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  17. Wow...so glad to know I'm not alone...

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  18. I stopped in my tracks at the word COOKIE! :-) My weekend treat!!! I do stop though!

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  19. OMG!! How hilarious! Nothing like feeling like your secrets are out! Lesson learned, I don't buy/make cookies anymore because frankly I can't handle the downward spiral that follows...and yes, its usually cheese and crackers...and then the rationale that I blew the day, so might as well order what I want...and slap a giant margarita on top while I'm at it!

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