Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Things Heard At the Gym That Sound Dirty But Aren’t

  • “Ready to pump some iron?”
  • “Can't you get it up all the way?”
  • “Great. Now get on your knees…”
  • “Don’t forget to wipe it off when you’re done.”
  • “I just pulled my groin.”
  • “Bend over and grab your ankles.”
  • “Can I slip in between your set?”
  • “You've sure got a lot on that rack...”
  • “Do you mind if I jump on?”
  • “Let me help you with that chest press...”
  • “I've got something that'll really get your heartrate up.”
  • “Push harder!”
  • “You really gotta lift your pelvis for maximum impact.”
  • “Just do it!”
  • “Work it, don’t jerk it
  • “Are you gonna get off soon?”


  1. That does sound deliciously dirty.

  2. What about 'Lengthen to strengthen' ? Also, someone once said to me 'Just don't open your thighs too wide laterally, that should help. Enjoy' I ALMOST DIED!

  3. Context is everything.....

    I love posts like this!

  4. In Pilates class:

    Get on the ball
    Squeeze your legs around the ball
    Move into Caesar
    Put your legs all the way behind your head
    Move in big circles
    Now we'll do the Teaser
    The Corkscrew
    Time for Downward Dog
    Lift your pelvis as high as you can
    Work from your Powerhouse
    Now lay on your side and lift your leg
    Higher, higher
    That's it, lift and lower
    Inhale and exhale

    OMG I'm getting so excited for my class today!

  5. I need to get myself to the gym! Grrr baby!

  6. Great, now I am

    Thanks for the laugh.

  7. Okay so that might just make me want to join the gym!!!

  8. haven't heard me at the gym yet...something like "Oh God....Oh no...yes yes."

    Getting Better and Better

  9. HA!



  10. It's just so wrong that it is right!

  11. LOL! I never thought of it quite like that!

  12. Things I heard at Zumba last week:

    go down deep, now move your hips in a circle. FASTER! Seriously, I couldn't help but giggle.

    Another great one, Jack. :)

  13. LOL! Ill never be able to hold a straight face in a gym again! lol

  14. wait, was I suppose to read this post? lol

  15. One of my videos they say, "Now slow it down and go deeper." lol I always giggle.

  16. I work out in my living room and it sounds pretty sexy in there with all the huffing and puffing. It doesn't look sexy, but if you close your eyes...

  17. I love these!! There is nothing like a good laugh at the gym!!!

  18. hehehehe, been giggling like a naughty school kid while reading those - love it!!

    thanks for the smile :-) x

  19. You forgot the trainer classic: "Harder...faster...don't stop!"

  20. I find that not only context is everything...but sometimes closing your eyes is an imperative.
    Just sayin'.

  21. These are awesome! I am officially not a grown up because they made me giggle.

  22. Ha!

    Some great additions from the comments too.

  23. Bahahahaha!! I've actually heard several of these, and it's SO hard not to bust out laughing each time. I just did a post dedicated to chocolate cake, and if you take out the chocolate cake words, the whole post sounds super-dirty, and I had to restrain myself not to put in a disclaimer, ha!

    Great post, as always.


  24. Lol! I'm always up for something that'll get my heart rate up.

  25. lol Maybe I should finally join a gym.

  26. hahaha... I am sorry jack - I had to post this on my gym-buddies facebook-wall! sorry about the plagiarism... this is just hilarious!!!

  27. lol You really SHOULD write a book. You'd make a mint! Just do it already so i can stop suggesting it :oÞ

  28. OMG Jack, I loved this so much!!!!! I can't even pick a fav!

  29. I often laugh about "prone Cuban snatch." LOL!

  30. Sooo funny!

    I was doing this lying down hamstring exercise (don't ask me what it's called!) and my trainer says, "open your knees wider, and lift your butt higher!" I was so embarrassed, but he said it with such a straight face I don't think he realised what he was saying!!!

  31. I know that a short while ago you wrote about not having any more awards listed on here, but I still think it's nice for you to at least know that someone out there is impressed with all you do. So, I have something for you on my blog!

  32. I think my mind went into the gutter and it's all your fault :-)

    Great post Jack!

  33. ha ha those are great!!! Love the last one!

  34. Yes and Ultimate Fighting is no different, except it is two men. Ok, he is in a full mount. Then they mount each other in those tiny little shorts, you would only get away with that in UFC.

  35. Hehehe. I'm constantly saying things like that that raise eyebrows. We have to be so careful aout wording- ANYTHING can be made to sound dirty!

  36. Hahahaa hilarious post!!!
    Love this one! ;)

  37. Hi Jack. I always like plenty of pushing harder. But I think commands to get into certain positions are my favourite.

    Bearfriend xx



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