Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Holiday Bad, Badder, Worstest...

BAD: You sample one of the Christmas cookies you’re baking.
BADDER: You wolf down all the cookies that don’t come out perfect.
WORSTEST: You sit in the kitchen floor and eat an entire bowl of batter.

BAD: You’ve succumbed to a peppermint bark addiction.
BADDER: While in line at Starbucks to get Peppermint Mocha Latte, you’re plotting route on your phone to the next closest Starbucks to get another Peppermint Mocha Latte.
WORSTEST: Doc informs you that your blood type is “O positively peppermint”.

BAD: You’ve drunk your weight in eggnog.
BADDER: You’ve thrown out all other food in your fridge so that you can keep more eggnog on hand.
Worstest: CNN does story about worldwide eggnog shortage and your name comes up repeatedly.

BAD: You had to poke a new hole in your belt.
BADDER: You wear sweatpants to Christmas Mass.
WORSTEST: You had to let out your Santa Claus costume.

BAD: You’ve got Advent calendar with Hershey kiss for each day in December.
BADDER: You’ve got Advent calendar with chocolate chip cookie for each day in December.
WORSTEST: You’ve got Advent calendar with cheeseball for each day in December.

BAD: You can’t stand up to watch entire holiday parade.
BADDER: Other carolers point out that your mouth is full of taffy.
WORSTEST: You go for sleigh ride and two horses keel over dead.

BAD: You popped a button.
BADDER: You ripped your pants.
WORSTEST: You broke Santa’s lap.

BAD:  You ate half a fruitcake.
BADDER: You chugged a quart of boiled custard.
WORSTEST: You ate the cookies your children left out for Santa… while they watched.

BAD: Pants are entirely too tight.
BADDER: You’ve had to cut the necks out of all your turtleneck sweaters.
WORSTEST: You can’t find a shawl that fits.

BAD: You’ve decided to put off your healthy living quest until the new year.
BADDER: Gym is so busy in January that you’ve decided to wait until it clears out some.
WORSTEST: Decided that 2013 can just go to hell. 


  1. Lol! I could put my name by a bunch of these!

  2. Testify! Thanks Jack, for showing us ways we could all eat more. Off to find a cheese ball advent calendar....

  3. Well I might have been able to focus on this except my head is full of Feliz Not-a-carb....Singing, singing....

  4. I'm bad, and sometimes badder. Whoopsies. Guess Santa isn't visiting me this year. :(

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. HOw many times have I had to poke a hole to make the belt fit. A thousand times!!!! BUt I would never eat half a fruitcake. Bleck!!...well ok...maybe if I was desperate !



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