What I’ve Said to the Girl Scouts…

• “Do you have any ‘Thin Mints’ that actually make you thin?”

• “I’m sorry, but Jamie Oliver says they use that pink slime to make Girl Scout cookies and I’m not supposed to buy them anymore.”

• “I’m sorry, but what part of ‘Look, I’ll cut a b*tch’ did you not understand?”

• “I’m sorry, but if I bought a box of cookies from you, I’d have to buy a box from the other 10,000 million Girl Scouts all over the world. Fair’s fair!”

• “I wish you girls would get whoever makes the Boy Scouts’ sh*tty popcorn to make your cookies. Those guys could screw up a wet dream.”

• “You can stick that box where the sun doesn’t Do-Si-Do!”

• “Sorry, but I spent my last $5 buying a box of beef jerky from the Jehovah’s Witnesses.”

• “I’d like to support you, but I just don’t eat cookies anymore; can I just write you a bad check instead?”

• “GET BACK, SATAN!”

• “I know it’s a good cause, but I need cookies like I need a box of Girl Scout cookies.”

• “Look, I’ve got three daughters; I’m not afraid to slap a little girl.”

• “No, no, no… a thousand times NO. Ummm… well, maybe just one box of Somoas…”

More Health Tips to Make You Healthy

• Only eat refined sugar if you refine it yourself.

• Always choose brown rice over Rice Krispies.

• Don’t put anything on your skin you wouldn’t eat (but don’t feel like you have to eat everything you put on your skin).

• If you want a snack that tastes exactly like a cookie, try an almond stacked on top of a dried apricot stacked on top of a cookie.

• One hour of biking can get you incredibly lost.

• Keep a journal of everything you eat as well as everything you don’t eat.

• An easy way to remember to take a vitamin daily is to hire a Vitamin Reminder Assistant.

• If your car has cruise control and a sunroof and you’re confident you can steer with your feet… well,  I made up this new exercise I’ve been wanting to try out on somebody.

• One thing that made me look a lot thinner was learning how to effectively use PhotoShop.

• Remember this saying: “Cake for dinner won’t make you thinner.”

• It’s a good idea not to eat while standing in the sink.

• Not filling your automobile’s cup-holders with cheese dip saves you a bunch of calories and makes cleaning up your car easier.

Diet Club

The first rule of Diet Club is -- you always talk about Diet Club.

The second rule of Diet Club is -- you ALWAYS talk about Diet Club 

The third rule of Diet Club is – when someone cheats or overeats, the diet is not over. 

Fourth rule is -- only one person to a diet. 

Fifth rule -- one diet at a time. 

Sixth rule -- no shakes, no sodas. 

Seventh rule -- diets go on as long as they have to. 

And the eighth and final rule -- if this is your first time at Diet Club, you have to diet.

Forward Ho! (Who you calling a "Ho"?)

Weekly weigh-in: 251.9
Loss: -.6



Total loss: -39.6
Emotion: Directionally challenged

If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards.

Well, come to think of it, I guess you could be going sideways.

Or diagonally. You definitely could be going diagonally.

Oh, I suppose you could be going in some sort of zig-zag pattern.

You could go two steps forward, then one step to the side like that horsey guy on the chessboard.

You can even stand still, as long as you don’t make a habit of it.

Lots and lots of options.

I think I’ll try go forward for a bit.

Into the W.I.D.T.H.-erness

Each of us has our own personal reason(s) for wanting to be more healthy. 

I share mine all the time. I share other peoples' occasionally. 

I'd love to share your reason, too.

Think about it, then jot down why you're on this weight loss/healthy living trek. 

Take a photo and then send it to me at jacksh.tgettinfit@gmail.com. 

Be sure and include a blog link if you want it included.

Why are you doing this? I'd really like to know...

Enz @ DownwardtrEnz

Amanda @ Fat to Fit Girl

Untypically Jia @ Untypically Jia

Alwaysjoy @ More Than EDNOS

Kit @ Kick Ball Change to Happiness

Mom To The Fourth Power @ Believing It's Possible Is Half the Battle

Paula @ PaulaWannaCracker

The Doctor Is In...

In honor (wait... honor may not be the exactly right word in this instance) of the official birthday of Dr. Seuss, I've collected all my well-intentioned rip-offs in one place. Enjoy!

Oh, The Weight You Will Lose


The Beetches

The Cat in the Fat

Lean Legs and Ass


Sh*twick the Big-Bottomed Goof

Oh, The Changes You Can Change

How The Binge Stole Fit-Mas

The Lardass

And if that doesn't leave you sufficiently entertained/inspired, then head over to the Anytime Health site and check out my newest contribution, The Slimshank Redemption.

I'm Too Chunky

Here I go
Standing on the scale.
I don’t need to look down to know,
I’m as big as a whale.

Hey, hey, I’m too chunky.

I know that I’ve been monkeyin’ around.

I’ve been too busy chompin’,

To bring those numbers down.



I just eat whatever I want to,
Drink what I like to drink.
But now I know if I wanna weigh less,
I gotta change the way I think.



Hey, hey, I’m too chunky;
I’m tired of just monkeyin’ around.
Time to get busy working,

Turn this whole thing around.

I’m just trying to be healthy;
Come watch me blog and weigh.

This may be a bad situation,
But tomorrow’s gonna be a new day.



Hey, hey, I’m too chunky,
I’m doing something ‘bout it, my friend.

So you had better get ready,

‘Cuz I expect you to join in.



Hey, hey, we’re too chunky!

And maybe we’ve been monkeyin’ around.

But now we’re all busy changin’,

And nothin’s gonna bring us down.