Monday, August 16, 2010

Lean Legs and Ass

I am Sh*t.

Sh*t I am.

That Sh*t-I-am!
That Sh*t-I-am!
What do you want now, Sh*t-I-am?

Do you want
Lean legs and ass?

Sure, I want them, Sh*t-I-am.
I do not like
Fat legs and ass.

Would you like them
Here or there?

Yes, I’d like them
Here or there.
Of course, I’d like them anywhere.
I would like
Lean legs and ass.
I sure would like them, Sh*t-I-am.

Would you like them in a Mercedes Benz?
Would you like them to show your friends?

*sigh* Yes, I would like them
In a Mercedes Benz.
I would like them
To show my friends.
I would like them
Here or there.
I would like them
Anywhere.
Yes, I’d like
Lean legs and ass.
Why won’t you listen,
Sh*t-I-am?

Would you like them
At the gym?
Would you like them
When you swim?

Yes, at the gym.
Sí, when I swim.
Mercedes Benz
Or with my friends.
Of course, I’d like them
Here or there.
My God, I’d like them anywhere.
I would like lean legs and ass.
Please no more questions, Sh*t-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
Change your ways?
Move more! Eat less!
All your days?

I would not,
Could not,
Change my ways.

You may like it.
You will see.
You may like to
Work out with me.

I do not like to get all wet.
I do not like to break a sweat.
I do not like to jump and jiggle.
I do not like it when others giggle.
I do not like to here or there.
I do not like to anywhere.
I do not want to give a damn.
I do not wat to, Sh*t-I-am.

A DVD! A DVD!
A DVD! A DVD!
Could you, would you
Do a workout DVD?

Not Muscle Max! Not Ab Attacks!
Not Power Bodies! Not Hot Pilates!
I would not, could not, do Workout Winners!
I won’t do Nude Zumba for Beginners.
I won’t do Yoga for Stretchy Womens.
Not Sweatin’ to the Oldies with Richard Simmons.
I will not do them here or there.
I will not do them anywhere.
I do not like them, Sh*t-I-am.

Say!
Weight Watchers?
Meet at Weight Watchers!
Would you, could you, do Weight Watchers?

I would not, could not,
do Weight Watchers.


I do not like that,
Sh*t-I-am.

You say you want change.
HERE’S your chance.
Try it! Try it!
Take a stance.
Give yourself a kick in the pants.

Sh*t!
If you will let me be,
I will try it all.
You will see…

(Three months later…)

Say!
I like lean legs and ass!
I do!! I like them, Sh*t-I-am!
And I like them when I'm in the gym.
And I like them when I swim.
And I like them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They feel so good, so good you see!
I like them in a Mercedes Benz.
And I like to show them to my friends.
And I like them here and there.
Say! I like them EVERYWHERE!

I do so like
Lean legs and ass!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sh*t-I-am.

16 comments:

  1. LOVE THIS

    You say you want change.
    HERE’S your chance.
    Try it! Try it!
    Take a stance.
    Give yourself a kick in the pants.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stretchy womensez!
    It's a hit, Mr. Sh*t!

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha!...much improved "green eggs and ham" lol

    Misty

    www.lifeoffthedlist.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yoga for Stretchy Womens - LOL!!! you kill me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. <3<3<3<3<3
    <3<3<3<3<3
    <3<3<3<3<3

    I do love this on my screen
    in a big bad way I mean.

    I would love it in my car
    I will SHOUT IT near and far.
    would I could I love to see
    inside the head of the Sh*t? YESSIREEE

    The way you think I covet and love
    Yer a GIFT TO US ALL...sent down from above ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. This would make Dr. Seuss proud! I heart this post very much!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Very original. Too much for this early. Grumble grumble as I go milk the goat. Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. lol, omg you are so creative! love it!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. My ABSOLUTE favorite story of all time. And you....nailed it. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Green Eggs & Ham remains one of my favorite books. In College I used to recite it on bar tops and tables ...

    ReplyDelete
  11. LOL.

    Your blog is my entertainment while waiting for my luggage. Hurray for something good!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I don't like green eggs and ham - but I do love love love lean legs and ass! :) This was awesomesauce.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi .. My name is Miss Surbhi Kapur. I am doing my 3rd year fashion designing . I am always fascinated to watch sexy models. Specially sexy buttocks. I am always feeling happy and proud to be a girl. And luckily my buttock is very huge and hot. Honestly speaking , I feel great and proud when Boys and girls start praising about my huge buttock.... ... No doubt girls are lucky having huge buttocks...... can draw the attention of Boys. The truth is that , when I was studying in 1st year , a Hand some Boy became mad I mean He became totally mad seeing my sexy huge buttock. Believe me He adored my Buttock in such a way that ultimately we became very close friend. But his intention was to enjoy annal sex with me. I also wanted to taste the pleasure of annal sex. We enjoyed almost 5 months... For me those days were so enjoyable and lovable ...really I can not speak in ward. And certainly that is the reason teenager are always eager to enjoy anal sex than any other form of sex... they simply loves anal sex..... BUT my Boy friend has gone abroad for higher study.... I am waiting his return anxiously..... In my view these photos are extremely hot and has killer instinct .......Bye.
    ALOKA UST-5546

    ReplyDelete

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