Monday, August 23, 2010

Jack Sh*tBloggin'

Here’s everything I know about FitBloggin’: ______________________.

However, when I saw that this healthy living conference was accepting applications for speakers, I decided that I’d throw my chapeau into the ring.

Planning is underway and
we’re seeking dynamic speakers like you!

I’m getting a little bit antsy that I haven’t heard back from the FitBloggin’ folks yet. After all, my application was, as the Queen of England might say, “kick-ass”…

Please use the form below to submit your session ideas.


Jack Sh*t


Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit

Area of Expertise? * Certified trainer? Been blogging for over 5 years? Tell us what makes you special.

Online humorist who has become one of the most popular diet/weight loss/healthy living bloggers on the planet (Earth) while losing a tremendous amount (80+ pounds) of weight. I'm also a motivating motivator, innovative innovator and, though very few people know this, somewhat of a celebrity... plus I coined the phrases "hump day," "my bad" and "coin the phrase". I'm also a ventriloquist (except you can see my lips move... how do those other guys keep their lips from moving anyway?)

Sessions/Presentation Idea? * What would you like to present about? Blogging or fitness topics welcome!

• How to Be a More Creative Blogger
• Nude Zumba for Beginners
• Is Pig Latin Right for Your Blog?
• 1,001 Weigh-ins... Scaling the Unscaleable... Um... Scale
• You Know You Love It When I Talk Diet-y
• Maybe You Should Just Give Up...
• If You Think Losing Weight's Impossible, Then You Don't Know This Guy

Co-presenters names and blogs? Are there others you would like to present this topic with?

The girl that was in that movie with that dude from that TV show

Would you session require and special equipment? List anything you would require for your session if anything.

• Supremes-style trio of back-up singers (for intro song)
• Projector (for projecting)
• Roll of absorbent paper towels (for flop sweat)
• FLAMING HOOP OF DEATH (for the finalé)
• One gallon of peanut M&M's with the peanuts removed (I'm allergic)

C'mon, FitBloggin'... I'm waiting for the call!


  1. LOL!

    I would pay double to see your intro/song!

  2. Compared to most rock stars, your rider is pretty reasonable.

  3. it would take an effing long time to remove all the peanuts from a gallon of peanut m&m's...

  4. I want tickets to see this show, who wil be your opening act Jack? Richard Simmons, please say No not him.

  5. Oh me..Pick me...I want to be one of the backup singers!

  6. Um, you *need* to be a presenter next year! I already bought my ticket and booked the hotel. Plus, I've always wanted to try

  7. DOn't worry I'm sure you'll hear back soon...


  8. I would go to that event just to listen to your $hit! I especially would love to hear your talk on "Maybe you should just give up" because that sounds really motivating.

    Thanks for the morning chuckle. I really needed a smile today.

  9. I can't believe they haven't contacted you yet! I mean who can resist a flaming hoop of death?

  10. I will go to FitBloggin' just to meet you in person! I want my Why I Do This pic shaking your hand. Maybe a fist pound. :)


  11. I WISH I had thought far enough ahead to copy my application. I do know that when it asked about co-presenters/speakers, I did write: No blog author out there would have the lack of foresight to associate with me.
    I was proud of that one.
    Fingers crossed for you, and if you get in before me, put in a good word. Preferably ones like- thinnish, less-flabbilicious, or pee-yo'-pants-funny.
    Do this, and I shall buy you a calorie/fat/sugar/carb free donut that doesn't taste like sasquach's nether regions.

  12. I think I've attended that "Maybe You Should Just Give Up..." seminar in the past.

  13. OMG whenever you say nude Zumba, I think of nasty things! Going to bleach my brain!

  14. Excellent Post. Words are not necessary.

  15. I would like to see you speak.

  16. I am SO there if they pick you! :)

  17. So shocked you did not hear back immediately!

  18. heres hoping you are really attending??

  19. Jack, we do love it when you talk diet-y to us! Am dying to see the flaming hoops of death - they better put you on the program.



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