Sunday, August 29, 2010

Invasion!

Weekly weigh-in: 210.4
Loss: -1.9
Total loss: -81.6
Emotion: Combative

People of Earth,

This communication is to announce the beginning on an invasion on 15 or so pounds of unruly fat.

Fat, you shall be banished! Fat, your world is coming to an end!

You have been allowed to hold sway for far too long. Today is the beginning of the end of your reign.

We plan to employ strict dietary guidelines and raise workout levels to “shock and awe” intensity.

Our aim is to isolate you, obliterate you, annihilate you.

You are big, but what you don’t understand is that the world is so much bigger than you.

Your time is past.

Prepare for the invasion.

Resistance is futile.

Emperor Jack
of the Sh*ton Empire

24 comments:

  1. Will it keep my clothes from being more "Klingon?"

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  2. Permission to come aboard, sir??? Go Emperor Jack GO!!!

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  3. Oh Love it...the Sh*ton Empire....Jack sh*t as ruler of the world...

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  4. Oooo a trekkie!!!

    Make it so Jack the invasion is under way!!!

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  5. Beam me up Scotty! erm, I mean Sh*tty!

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

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  6. Good stuff Jack! I have a much bigger war ahead of me! I better get my shields upgraded. Good news is my warp engines appear to be working just fine!

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  7. War, what is it good for? Getting healthy apparently.

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  8. YES! Great job this week Jack! HIGH 5! :)

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  9. Engage.

    But... Resistance is futile is Borg...

    *runs away*

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  10. Fantastic! Those 15 will be gone in no time!! lol!

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  11. You tell them Jack! I will join your brigade!

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  12. I had a bad moment where I thought that picture was battlefield earth...lololol.
    Good to know it's the klingons and this whole next battle won't be badly written and poorly acted.

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  13. I'm with you, Jack, only I am going to blast off THIRTY pounds or more of stubborn fat! Let's join forces and get 'er done!

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  14. yuq glakk urrggkah tau jqqkeka


    klingon for .."you tell em ' Jack"

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  15. Permission to join the crew, Sir! I'll bring my own teleporter

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  16. I'm surprised you didn't write this in Klingon with English subtitles. But I still loved it!

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  17. Nice job man, pretty entertaining as well haha

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  18. LAUGHING as this whole post made no sense to me...until I read the comments.

    never
    seen
    an
    episode :)

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  19. OK. Resistance is futile= Borg, not Klingon. But, I'm sure you know that, right? Poetic license and all that jazz.

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  20. Yes! Time to raise the work out bar to "shock an awe!" Kick those 15lbs ass!

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