Healthy Living on the Road

• Start any long travel day with a good, nourishing enema.
  
• Keep a magic marker on you so that you can log all of your food on your arm.
  
• If your hotel doesn’t have a fitness center, you can easily make one by getting a second room, buying a bunch of fitness equipment and stowing it all in there.
  
• If you're going to be consuming any alcohol during your travels, remember the old health adage “candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.” I'm not exactly sure why you should remember that, but it's vitally important that you do.
  
• Ask the hotel concierge to arm wrestle.
  
• The mini-bar is dangerous territory for dieters. Immediately pour all liquids down the drain and flush all chips, cookies and large-sized candy bars. The peace of mind you receive will more than make up for the $4,000 the hotel will charge your credit card.
  
• Keep plenty of raw fruits and vegetables, string cheese, bottled or boxed juices, nuts and … oh, that’s not going to happen!
  
• A basic workout of situps, push ups, jumping jacks, yoga and stretching can be done during virtually any business meeting.
  
• It’s important to stay hydrated when you travel, so carry plenty of water balloons in your briefcase.
  
• While on the plane, run as fast as you can from one end of the plane to the other waving your arms wildly.
  
• To make it easier not to overeat while traveling, be sure and go to restaurants you don’t like and order food that you hate.