Monday, May 7, 2012

Tips to Live a Healthy Living Life

• When you're making a sandwich, if you replace the bread with lettuce, the cheese with lettuce, the lunch meat with lettuce and the mayonnaise with lettuce, well my friend, you have just magically changed a sandwich into a salad.

• Chew sugarless gum instead of food.

• An easy way to help you drink more aqua is to paint a bullseye on your tongue and give everyone you know a water pistol.

• Hate prunes? Maybe you'd like dried plums instead.

• Don't buy candy apples at the Farmer's Market unless they're in season.

• When you're at a restaurant, simply ask your waitress for 500 calories worth of their tastiest food.

• You can make your own "virtual" treadmill by going outside and walking or running, dumbass.

• Don't eat with your mouth full.

• One way to positively affect your health is to invent a time travel device, go back in time and encourage your mother to hook up with someone with better genes.

• If it's Friday night and you're really just craving pizza and beer; try clearing your mind and... man, pizza and beer sounds really good, doesn't it?  Can we get banana peppers on it because I really like banana peppers?

Let's just pretend that the last week didn't happen, okay? 
Back on track!


  1. You are funny as always! Jack, you need to take you good eating habits on the road. Makes it so tough to have to lose that again.. I know, I am always such a downer! ;-) It is hard but at least trying to not go to overbaord... tough but it can be done! :-)

    1. Right as always, Jody, but I had a good excuse for my lax eating and drinking: I'm a dumbass.

  2. I don't know why I never thought of any of these! :)

  3. I didn't think anyone could come up with NEW Healthy Tips... until now. ;-)

  4. You always make me smile! You are so smart!Good tips!

  5. Rightly said about life. Nice tips on healthy living and enjoying every moment of life.



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