I Hate to Make Excuses, But…

• I’m pretty sure that I saw a spider in my running shoes.

• Had coupon for Tootsie Rolls that was about to expire.

• Forced to take elevator at work because the stairs were out of order.

• Last time I was at gym, this lady made me kind of uncomfortable by dressing me with her eyes.

• Starbucks trips necessary because I had too much money in my pocket.

• Couldn’t drink enough water due to fact that it didn’t have any taste.

• NBA and the dude that wrote Game of Thrones keeping me from getting enough sleep.

• Thought I’d grabbed my gym bag, but accidentally picked up bag of barbecue potato chips.

• Read somewhere that red wine is good for your heart, so I’ve been trying to make my heart super-duper healthy.

• The home elliptical that I put together myself emits sparks every time I try to use it.

• Have come down with severe case of Dieter’s Block.

• Turns out my “salad” consisted only of croutons, candy corn and Chex Mix.

• Been spending too much time writing on my blog because I think if people are paying for my best effort, then I need to… huh? What do you mean they’re not paying? When was somebody gonna tell me that? Huh? HUH?

I Don't Like to Make Excuses, But..

Weekly weigh-in: 216.5
Loss: +.1
Total loss: -75.4
Emotion: Irresolute

I don’t like to make excuses, but…

• I couldn’t find the “Healthy Choices” section of Hooter’s menu.
• I thought the pickles in the fridge might be some kind of “magic pickles” like in that book about the magic pickles.
• Eyes starting to go; might have read scale wrong last week.
• Ate too much koala to celebrate Australia Day (January 26)
• I dreamed I was eating a pillow and when I woke up, my giant marshmallow was gone.
• Pants felt too big; decided it was easier to gain weight than get new belt.
• Accidentally replaced water bottle with bottle of 1,000 Island dressing.
• Big knot in laces of my running shoes.
• Sample lady at grocery store forced me down, shoveled pimento-and-cheese spread in my mouth.
• Got mesmerized by that TV show starring the dude that was in that movie with that girl with the long hair.
• Meant to go work out but lost track of time unfollowing people I’m following on twitter that aren’t following me back. Jerks!
• Thought I was eating 100-calorie snack bag, but turns out it was 1,000-calorie one.
• Had to eat all chocolate in the house because I read somewhere that it was poisonous to dogs.
• Went to all-you-could-eat buffet and forgot not to eat all I could eat.
• Personal trainer didn’t push me to give 110%.
• Think there was some heavy dead skin on my feet.
• The expiration date was about to hit on that can of frosting in pantry.
• You bloggers forgot to inspire me this week.

Excuses For Not Exercising Today

• “Didn’t eat my Wheaties.”
• “That old guy at the gym that looks just like Popeye creeps me out.”
• “Currently using exercise DVD as a coaster; don’t want glass to leave water ring on the furniture.”
• “Worried that my gym might be haunted.”
• “Spilled my energy drink. Now low on energy…”
• “Still on hold with Comcast.”
• “Spandex pants are still out on the clothesline.”
• “My little Wii Fit fellow looks sad.”
• “Already worked out one day in a row this week. What am I, a machine?”
• “Still embarrassed after falling off elliptical last week.”
• “Mirrors at the gym make me look 20 lbs. heavier.”
• “This episode of Dexter that I DVRed isn’t going to watch itself…”
• “Don’t want to let go of any of my precious, precious sweat.”
• “Way behind on my catalog browsing.”
• “Pulled a muscle changing smoke alarm battery.”
• “Personal trainer looked at me funny last time I was there.”
• “Dog poo still on running shoes…”
• “Can’t find my lucky workout socks.”
• “I’m feeling a little H1N1y”
• “Dog ate my heart rate monitor.”

Whenever I hear people’s excuses for not exercising, they generally sound just about as lame as these. Do yourself a favor and GO GET YOUR SWEAT ON!