Man With a Plan

So there's these two guys hiking out in the forest.

Suddenly, they come across a ferocious, snarling bear.

The first guy takes off his pack, pulls out a pair of running shoes, and starts to put them on. 

“What do you think you're doing?" the friend frantically cries out. “You can't outrun that bear.”

“I don't need to,” the first guy calmly replies. “I only need to outrun you.”

Upon hearing this plan, the other guy whips out a lead pipe from his own pack and cracks it a sharply against his buddy’s knees, then takes off running.

Moral of the story: It’s okay to have a plan, but you don’t need to run your mouth about it before you enact it.

Secret weight loss moral of the story:  Don’t tell people that you’re on a diet; do it and let them take notice when the results kick in. Also, don’t mess with bears.