Thursday, October 3, 2013

What the Doctor Told Me...

What I heard the doctor say:

“You, sir, a medical marvel!

“From looking at your MRI, it appears that there is a team of hard-working gremlins repairing your slightly torn rotator cuff at amazingly amazing speed.

“When I took my sons to see that new Star Trek movie where (spoiler alert) that captain guy dies but is brought back to life by the villain’s magically recuperative blood, I told them that–unfortunately–the real world doesn’t work like that.

“And now… now I have to go back to them and admit that their father is a bald-faced liar because I’m fairly positive that your blood contains those same regenerative properties. We’ve taken a vial of it and locked it away in case anything ever happens to the President.

"Again, and I don’t think I can stress this strongly enough:  you are a walking, talking miracle, a infinitely phenomenal phenomenon. God bless you and keep you all the days of your life!”

What the doctor actually said:

“I’ve got a worse tear in my underwear. Get out of here, ya big puss.”


  1. Glad to hear it's nothing serious .... now suck it up, buttercup.

  2. So glad someone finally confirmed what we've already known - you are a marvel, Jack

  3. Glad to hear it wasn't anything serious!

  4. Check how bad the doctor's undies tear is before you celebrate. It could still be really bad.

  5. That must have been a great relief! Rotator cuff injuries are the worst! Glad to hear it's nothing serious!



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