Thursday, October 10, 2013

Even More Phrases You Never Want to Hear From Your Doctor

“Nurse! Come see how fat this patient is!”

“I’m going to give you a prescription for something that will make all food taste like celery.”

“Your cholesterol levels are bad, but I’m especially worried about your pudding levels.”

“You see this spot on the x-ray; that’s blue cheese dressing. Haven’t we talked about you not bringing a bucket of wings to your appointment?”

“Do I think you’re going to die soon? I can’t believe you’ve hung around this long!”

“I’m going to send you to a specialist in cheese addiction.”

“You see, when I hit your knee with my little hammer to check your reflexes, it’s not supposed to get stuck like that.”

“No, I won’t trade you a urine sample for a frozen custard.”

“Well, there’s at least one piece of good news: your case is going to allow me to buy my wife a new BMW convertible.”

“Wow, you’re in even worse shape than that Jack Sh*t fellow I saw this morning…”


  1. Pretty sure all the work on my hip is providing my doc with a new boat so that one about the BMW isn't far off.

  2. HA! Good ones, Jack. When is your Youtube stand up routine? I demand it.

  3. Bril­liant! Great talk that was extremely insightful and very enter­taining. It’s given me loads to think about.



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