• Eat until you are eight-tenths full instead of until you’re ten-eighths full.
• Chewing sugarless gum is a better way to keep your mouth busy than snacking or getting into an obscenity-filled argument with your neighbor.
• You can add more fruits and vegetables to your diet by eating more fruits and vegetables, dumbass.
• According to some research, catching a whiff of Rosemary may increase alertness and improve memory (of course, Rosemary may slap you if she catches sniffing her, but getting slapped increases alertness, too!)
• Brushing your teeth right after dinner is a good way to tell your brain that you’re done eating for the evening, unless you brush your teeth with frosting.
• To get more fiber in your diet, consider eating a pound of fiber.
• Remember, the “elevator” is an “evil-ator”… no wait… that’s stupid. Don’t waste your time remembering that. My bad!
• You can tame a tension headache by rubbing peppermint oil into your temples and then screaming until blood pours down your nose.
• Instead of stopping at Starbucks and getting yourself a coffee in the morning, how about stopping at Starbucks, getting me a coffee and dropping it off by my office? Thanks!
You can get more fruits and vegetables by eating more fruits and vegetables, dumbass...hahahaha!
ReplyDeleteKeep eating 1 pound of fiber and you will be sh*ting more then 1 pound per day lol. Ideal weight loss secret for you all.
ReplyDeleteSome sage advice there Jack, I especially like the tip about fiber - definitely eat more fiber :)
ReplyDeleteLove your sense of humor and irreverence. I'm going to take my chances with sniffing Rosemary and see what happens.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud reading the rosemary sniffing. Better not sniff me lol x
ReplyDeleteI love your sense of humor. But seriously, your #1 point on eating 8/10 full instead of 10/8 full, that will definitely help me out. Especially when I eat out where the portions are big.
ReplyDeleteYou are ridiculous! I love it! .... Maybe I should eat more fruit....
ReplyDeleteLove the site like usual Jack. Your surname is how i feel. x
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with saying it like it is!
ReplyDelete