Monday, April 1, 2013

The Battle (of the Bulge) Hymn of the Republic

Mine eyes have seen the horror of the numbers on the Scale.
My pants are fitting badly and I’m feeling like a whale,
Trying to be good, but wind up sayin’ “What the hell?”
My weight is marching up.


Oh me! Oh me! How to lose weight!

Oh me! Oh me! How to lose weight!

Oh me! Oh me! How to lose weight!

The truth is I don’t know.

I have tried to count my calories; I’ve tried eating less fat.
I have tried portion sizes that wouldn’t satisfy a gnat.
If you have a brand new diet, well, okay, I will try that.
The truth is I don’t know.

Oh me! Oh me! Help me lose weight!

Oh me! Oh me! Help me lose weight!

Oh me! Oh me! Help me lose weight!

It’s time to bring it down!

I have started working out more, I have started eating less.

I am never, ever perfect but I always try my best.

What the scale will tell me this week, man, is anybody’s guess.

But I’ll keep marching on!

Oh me! Oh me! I will lose weight!

Oh me! Oh me! I will lose weight!

Oh me! Oh me! I will lose weight!

My weight is coming down.


I have lifted all the free weights, I have started doing squats.

I wasn’t really counting, but I’m sure that I did lots.

It’s really, really hard for me so please keep me in your thoughts.

My journey’s marching on!

6 comments:

  1. I wish I could give you great advice, but I am fighting too. You just have to get up everyday, and keep trying.

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  2. Cutting out carbs generally works for me. The trick is actually sticking to it. Which I never do for more than a week at a time. You don't know how much you love carbs until you have to give up bread.

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  3. You are amazing :) So funny. I just read one gal who has been eating 1 TBS of hot sauce before eating a meal. She holds it in her mouth until it hurts. Ridiculous? I kind of think so but she seems to think it worked for her so....whatever ;)

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  4. You are a poet, and you definitely know it :)

    I liked it, keep marching on :)

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  5. Hi Jack!!! You know what it takes but you just have to execute it... CONSISTENCY & ALL THAT GOOD STUFF... :)

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  6. haha.. love your humor.. keep it coming. Makes reading the blog more interesting than most out there!

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