• A rowing machine that you can actually take out in the water.
• A wearable multi-vitamin.
• Solar-powered sunglasses that shade your eyes from the sun (waitaminute… is this another one those “gag” projects from Jerry down in Research & Development? That Jerry!)
• Inflatable workout buddy.
• A lip balm that repels chocolate pudding.
• Decaffeinated coffee that still perks you up.
• Pocket-sized elliptical.
• Peanuts made out of cashews (for people with peanut allergies).
• Soup spoon with big hole in it so that you eat less soup.
• Scale that doesn’t silently laugh at you when you step on it.
• Gym bag that automatically converts sweaty clothes into clean, fresh-smelling clothes.
• App that finishes your workout for you.
I am getting kinda tired of this numbah...
Oh Jack, I would love to see that numbah on mah scale! You are blazing a trail for the rest of us, and inspiring me to push harder.
ReplyDeleteexcuse me while I make a note to self: learn how to take scale apart and switch the numbers.
Wait... you can do that?
ReplyDeleteYour R&D guys are geniuses. When will I be able to buy some Glute Loops?
ReplyDeleteThey've dropped that to marshal all their resources on creating Skim Milk Duds.
Delete