Monday, December 23, 2013

Baby, It's Cold At My Gym

I really can't go.
Jackie, it’s time to work out.
Just stubbed my big toe.
Jackie, you gotta work out.
I think that I’ve contracted
Been hoping that you won’t skip out.
A case of rabies
Look at your muscles; they're just like a baby’s.
I didn’t bring the right pants, see?
C’mon Jack, don’t be a pansy.
I think I might be catching a cold.
Your excuses are sure gettin’ old.
I don’t have good shoes.
Really now, what’s there to lose?
Well, maybe just ten minutes or so.
I’ll grab my keys, get ready to go.
The trainers might laugh.
Jackie, let’s start our workout.
What’s this? Two pounds and a half?
Let’s keep working out.
I wish I knew how
You’re breaking a sweat now.
To break a sweat.
Look at your shirt, you’re soaking wet.
I ought to do some sets of squats
For you, two’d be considered “lots”.
I can’t lift that much… hey, I tried
No wonder that your ass is so wide.
I really can't stay
Jackie, just hold out
(Both) Ahh but it’s a great workout.
I’m glad that I’m here.
Oh Jackie, look at you workin’ out.
Time for a beer!
But Jackie, that’d waste your workout .
This workout has been
How lucky that we got you in.
Almost an hour.
More like 40 minutes (including your shower).
My wife will be suspicious
Probably thinks this workout’s ficticious.
My muscles will be achin’ and sore
Wouldn’t happen if you’d work out some more.
My arms feel like overcooked noodles
Your muscles are as big as a poodles’.
Well, maybe just a couple sets more…
That’s what we came here for!

I've got to get fit.
But Jackie you’re a long way from there.
Get outta this pit.
Gotta climb to get up out of there!
You've helped me a ton.
Glad I could help, but it wasn’t much fun.
I’ve gotta go pee.
Why can’t you do this like me?
I’m bound to be hurtin’ tomorrow.
In that outfit, you look just like Charo 
Thanks for not being too critical. 
Sorry for laughin’ when you fell off the elliptical.
I’m glad that I went.
I’m never taking you back.
(Both) Ahhh but it was a great….workout!


  1. Crickets and cobwebs at my gym too!
    Love ya, Jack!
    Merry Merry!

  2. "Glad I could help, but it wasn’t much fun.
    I’ve gotta go pee."

    Haha absolutely LOVE this

  3. It's great - the though that go through the mind.

  4. Bahahahahaha, you are a friggin riot!



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