• A 2013 study showed that drinking 8 oz of beet juice lowers blood pressure by 10.5 points in 24 hours and makes you think, “OMG, I just accidentally drank a glass of beet juice!”
• If a recipe calls for a stick of butter, replace it with a stick of gum (or just a stick).
• A good way to moisturize your skin is to use a moisturizer, dumbass.
• If you can your own food, throw out any in which the container is bulging, leaking or laughing manically.
• Don’t get a flu shot; spend the extra money and get a flu prevention shot.
• All beans are high in protein, fiber, iron, magnesium, potassium and zinc. However, garbanzos are the most fun to say. Garbanzo! Garbanzo!
• Whenever you have fried food, make certain that it’s not fried.
• Swimming is great exercise, plus an excellent way to keep from drowning if you find yourself immersed in water.
• Remember this little rhyme for healthier meals: "If you don’t eat your veggies, I’m gonna give you lots of wedgies."
• Scientists have determined the proper amount of water you should ingest over the course of a day: lots.
• There’s an easy way to tell if you’re pushing yourself hard enough during your workouts: do you hear an angel chorus or see a bright shining light? No? THEN PUSH YOURSELF HARDER, TINKERBELL!
And running is great exercise as well as an excellent way to get away from those nasty brain-eating zombies during the upcoming apocalypse. But what if it's a robot apocalypse instead? Then you're better off being an unfit IT geek with mad computer skillz!
ReplyDeleteHaha love it, I should definitely learn how to swim then :)
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