Like Big Butts? Not Me...

Oh, my, god. girl, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She has more crack
than the neighborhood drug dealer.
But, you know who understands about all that?
There’s this guy that knows his stuff
Sir Sh*ts-A-Lot wants to get folks thinner 'kay?
I mean, his blog is just so strange
I can't believe it's so ridiculous, it's like,
out there, I mean - really. Look!
It’s just so ... Jack!

Blogger seems to be having video issues today,
so click here if you wanna sing along...

You’ve got a big butt and I cannot lie,
You prolly should go on a diet.
Cause if you wanna get an itty bitty waist.
Stop stuffin’ stuff in your face.
You get hungry, want food in ya tummy,
But you notice that yo body looks crummy.
You standing at that mirror swearing.
Don’t fit in them jeans you’re wearing.
Oh baby, just admit
You wanna get fit.
My homeboys tried to warn me
That this song might come off corny.
Ooh, Plump-o'-stiltskin
Say you wanna get rid of that double-chin?
Well, listen, listen..
It’s time to find out what you been missin’.
Let’s get you dietin’.
Get them fat cells riotin’.
Time to get wet, sweat,
Say whoa, exercise some mo.
Get you losin’ that flesh tuxedo.
I'm tired of all of them excuses.
Time to put a move on them cabooses.
Take the average fattie and ask ‘em that,
“Why you gotta pack so much of that fat?”
So, fatso! (Yeah!) fatso! (Yeah!)
Gonna make you lose it! That so? (Hell yeah!)
I tell ya to move it! (move it!) Move it! (move it!)
Move that healthy butt!
Baby got Jack!

Baby got Jack!

Yo butt may be round and large,
Just means it’s time to take charge.
Time to help yo-self, create a mass reduction.
Bring out the weapons of ass destruction.
I wanna get you a personal trainer,
Break it down so it couldn’t be plainer.
I ain't talkin' bout buns of steel,
But “buns of play-doh” just ain’t a good deal.
Don’t wanna be thick and juicy, do we?
So make a plan and do what you planned.
Sir Sh*t’s-a-Lot will give you a hand.
Help you on your way to the promised land.
Maybe try out that 30-day Shred,
With Jillian’s harsh face talkin’ to yo head.
(Why won’t that ho-bag just drop dead?)

Time to build up that mojo.
Get that weight down to a new low, yo.
Turning back now is a real no-no.
But I gotta be straight when I say you can’t wait,
To have this poundage gone.
‘Til you got it goin’ on.
‘Til you’re feeling fit and strong!

Some folks can’t stop eating and cheating.
Me? I'd rather move it and prove it.
In the gym being strong like I belong,
And I'm down to get my workout on.
So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah)
Tired of living in your personal Hades? (Yeah!)
Then turn it around! Gut it out!
And give this fit white boy a shout.
Baby got Jack!

Baby got Jack!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to flab, Jackie ain’t takin’ nothin’ off nobody.
250 lbs? Ha ha, only if you’re 7'3".

So let’s exercise you and me, maybe play Wii Fit on the Wii.
Get our bodies in motion. Get busy and cause a commotion.
Cuz breaking a sweat
Is our best bet yet.
Go do some side bends or sit-ups,
It’s time to lose that butt.
Some people wanna be nice and gentle,
Don’t wanna be too detrimental.
They’ll tell you that you’re doin’ great,
Even when you gain some weight.
When you’re pilin’ crap on your plate.
They won’t tell you that you're fat,
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is too big and your life’s a mess,
And I’m not gonna be happy ‘til you weigh a little less.
‘Til you’re a little more comfortable in your skin.
You go, Miss Thin!
Give me a workout, dinner of baked trout.
Want some dessert but gonna do without.
If you’re gettin’ a lil’ frustrated by all dis,
Stop by my blog for another stupid list,
Or a goofy lil’ story with a lot of jokes wit ‘em.
It’s your time, so let’s go get ‘em!
So ladies, if the butt’s too grande,
Then let’s not wait to get started on Monday.
Dial 1-900-SH*TSALOT,
And let’s give this thing our best shot!
Baby got Jack!

Let’s get little in the middle and get our healthy body back!