Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Mizard of Miz (Part 4 of 6)

Early the next morning, Dina, Jack and the Ton-Man were making fairly good time as they made their way down the Yellow Fit Road.

“I said to get downwind from me, you smelly sh*tcrow!” yelled the Ton-Man, shoving Jack back.

“Well, you don’t have to be so mean, you mean meanie,” exclaimed Jack. “What is it, Dina?”

“Do you hear crying?” asked Dina.

“Weren’t we supposed to do the ‘Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My’ song?” asked Ton-Man.

“We’ve gone way over budget,” said Jack. “Look, over there. A giant hairy dude crying like a baby.”

“Yeah, I heard he lived around here,” said the Ton-Man, nodding his head. “It’s the Cowardly Liar.”

“Oh hell no!” said Carlos, drying his eyes. “I let you rag on me in that League of Extraordinarily Fat Gentlemen series, but I’m not participating in this travesty. No way. No how.”

“So you say you’re looking for some mojo?” asked Dina.

“What?” asked Carlos, a confused expression on his face. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Well,” said Ton-Man. “Maybe the Miz can give you some mojo and get your weight-loss journey back on track.”

“What the f*ck are you talking about?” asked Carlos. “Is that you, Dina? I had a fantasy about you in a Dorothy costume one time, but now you’re gone and ruined it forever.”

“I’m sure the Miz could help find your lost mojo,” smiled Jack.

“Look, stinkwad,” barked Carlos, poking the sh*tcrow in the chest with his finger. “I said I’m not a part of this, and I meant it.”

“We’ve just got to cross the Poppy Fields and we’ll be there,” said Jack.

“Poppy fields?” smiled Carlos. “Okay, I’m in.”

We’re off to see the Mizard,
The Marvelous Mizard of Miz.
We’ll find she is a fitness whiz.
Yes, that’s the kind of a whiz she is.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there is,
The Mizard of Miz is the best one there is.
She is, she is, she is, she is, she is.
Because she’s simply the best in the biz.
We’re off to see the Mizard.
The Marvelous Mizard of Miz.



  1. too funny....carlos, poppies, dorothy fantasies and the f word. couldn't be more on target lmao.

  2. Hmm...who could the Mizard of Miz be?

  3. Haha, poor Carlos, always getting ragged on. I'm glad you posted two today. :)

  4. "Stinkwad." Jack, I love you because you remind me of my 10 year old. But funnier.

    You are looking totally hot in that Oxy Clean get up. Next time my overweight middle-aged cleaning woman comes over I'm going to just imagine its Mr. Oxy Clean scrubbing my toilets...

  5. It just gets better and better every day!

  6. I am very impressed that I have a label at the bottom of your post.

    Very nice job! I like how you include everyone into your posts.You make me a better blogger.

  7. Late to the party as usual.... great post and no more pickin on carlos...



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