Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I’m Sorry, Van Morrison

Hey what did you do,
Ordering burger and fries?
Getting some fast food,
Enjoying some fried pies.
Laughing and a eating, hey, hey
Stuffing and a chompin’.
In a misty lunchtime fog with
Your gut hangin’ down on you,
My big-assed friend,
You my big-assed friend.

Whatever happened
to that promise to “eat slow”?
Putting down that fork sometimes.
Using some portion control.
Standing on the scale laughing,
Writing down your new weight.
Dipping and sliding,
Yeah, you’re doin’ great, yeah you
My big losin’ friend,
You my big losin’ friend.

Do you remember when we both were fat?
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da

It’s easier to find our way,
So many hurdles we have crossed.
I saw your pic the other day,
My, how much you’ve lost!
Let’s never gain it back there, Lord.
Sometime I'm overcome thinking 'bout
Just how far we’ve both come.
Think I’ll keep following you,
My bloggin’ friend.
You my bloggin’ friend.

Do you remember when we both were fat?
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da.



  1. Love it! I needed a boost after a disappointing weigh-in this morning.

  2. MNow I knew who Snoop Dog was, but who's Van Morrison?


  3. Do you take requests? Because when I saw Van Morrison, I was hoping for Tupelo Honey. Somebody once described the thought of dancing with me to that song as "A Song-Long Hug". Which sounds delicious. And even moreso now that I'm feeling huggable again!

    But I will be humming "my big-assed friend" all morning. Thanks Jack!

  4. My big-assed friend?


  5. Always so inventive, great song Jack!

  6. LOL ---Love it! I have been a big fan of his for many years. POETIC CHAMPIONS COMPOSE is a great album. Wait! They aren't albums anymore..........sigh.

  7. Brilliant!! "Brown Eyed Girl" is my cell phone ring tone and is one of my favorites. Wonderful choice of songs today. :)

  8. O know you took my song lol. Its my ring tone also :P

  9. Not Van the Man! I love him too much, but I forgive you!

  10. As a big Van Morrison fan, I found myself thinking "OH NO HE DIDN'T!" when I saw what you had done.

    But then I saw the cleverness...and now I'm okay.

    I had to stop by your blog since you're on so many other people's blogrolls... You've got a great blog and I'm glad to have finally relented to reading yours! :)

  11. GREAT JACK! A tribute to you! You have come so far!!! Important info in there too!

  12. FYI, that Oxy-Clean picture is the best ever!

    It really should be on the side of your blog!

  13. I think you have built up enough tunes now to be a sh*tty DJ!

  14. :lol:

    Song brings back memories but not in this way :lol:

  15. Sha la la la la la la la la te da.

  16. lol I guess if the lyrics to a brilliant song had to be changed you at least did it justice. Very clever :)

  17. Just read your "ABOUT ME'. You are one talented dude.

  18. See if you can come up with something to the tune of TB Sheets

    Great post once again Jack!

  19. My husband seems to think it's our song, along with the other 5 million brown eyed girls out there, lmao....Hey, who says van morrison didn't know how to score with the female population? Not me....just sayin' cute rewrite.

  20. Hey, a song writing career may be opening up for you now :)

  21. I love Van Morrison and I urge anyone who is wondering "who's he?" to go buy an album!

    Well done Jack :)

  22. I’m finally trying to catch up!!! Glad to see that you have kept up the humour in my absence (as if there was ever any doubt)! My personal favourite from catching up is the Green Monster Mash; pretty clever. I am very glad to see that there is the usual peppering of wise posts too. I especially appreciated your honesty regarding you wife’s request for a svelter groom and your archived Reversing It.

    I am ashamed to admit this – and oddly enough I never would to most, but I think you will get it – but the first thing I noticed when checking out your blog after not reading it these past couple of weeks is that I weigh less than you. Ack! Please don’t swat at me like that; that’s how it’s supposed to be! Grin!

    But in all seriousness (is that even allowed on this particular site?) I am thrilled to see that you have continued your downward trend. You totally deserve this and are working so hard to get it! I can’t wait to see what you come up with next!!!

  23. Good stuff! Good song, excellent changes. ♥

  24. I was totally singing along with that one! Loved it!

  25. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.
    this is totally one of my favourite songs. i love a bit of van morrison. lol loved you version.

    i am now humming it but slipping in your words.
    hum hum my big assed friend hum de hummmmm



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