Friday, November 13, 2009

Famous Movie Lines (Jack Sh*t-Style)

  • “I know what you’re thinking- 'Did he eat six donuts or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kind of lost track myself. But, you’ve just gotta ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel hungry?' Well, do ya, punk?
  • “Frankly, my dear, I won’t eat a ham.”
  • “I'm gonna make him a sandwich he can't refuse.”
  • “All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my clam dip.”
  • “What we've got here is failure to lose the weight.”
  • “I love the smell of napalm and hash browns in the morning.”
  • “Love means never having to say your ass is too wide.”
  • “The tuna? You can’t handle the tuna!”
  • “Bacons? We ain't got no bacons! We don't need no bacons! I don't have to show you any stinkin' bacons!”
  • “Houston, we have an eating problem.”
  • “You had me at ‘Jell-O'.”
  • “As God is my witness, I sure am hungry again.”
  • “Say hello to my little friend! She’s lost 35 lbs.”
  • “Pasta la vista, baby.”
  • “Soylent Green is people! And it’s high in fat and sodium!”
  • “I’ll be back… for seconds.”
  • “"They make take our lives, but they will never take our French fries!”
  • “Why don't you come up and feed me sometime?”
  • “Take your hands off my pie, you damn dirty ape.”
  • “Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna… get your hands off my chocolates!”
  • “Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me… with pudding.”
  • “Are you crazy? The fat will probably kill you!”
  • “May the Forks be with you.”
  • “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Only 350 calories.”
  • “Show me the mocha!”
  • “I feel the need—the need for feed!”
  • “Carpe diet.”

21 comments:

  1. "Frankly, my dear, I won’t eat a ham." and “The tuna? You can’t handle the tuna!” and several others made me laugh out loud. :P

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  2. ROFL!!!!!
    “"They make take our lives, but they will never take our French fries!”

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  3. You're so funny - are you this way all the time or just in blogland?

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  4. "The tuna? You can't handle the tuna!" Oh my goodness i laughing out loud :)

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  5. After all these months of reading my weight loss friend's blogs every morning, you'd think I'd remember not to have a mouthful of coffee while reading yours. I need to install a windshield wiper on my monitor that will automatically detect when I am visiting your blog and come out to clean the screen. Jack I don't just say how much I love you, I SPRAY how much I love you!

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  6. Thanks Jack! Nice Friday morning chuckle!
    "only 350 calories"! LOL!

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  7. Funny Stuff, as always. Thanks for Joke Starting my day.

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  8. Funny stuff. I knew all the movies too!

    Thanks for all the laughs....

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  9. "Pasta la vista, Baby!" That may be my new catch phrase.

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  10. OMG, I loved them all BUT “Soylent Green is people! And it’s high in fat and sodium!”. I am old enough to remember that movie!! Obviously! Thx for the :-)

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  11. Funny, I really enjoyed them all Jack. Wish I was this inventive, all I can think about to talk about is remodeling lol.

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  12. Frankly my dear I don't give a ham...and as God as my witness, I sure am hungry again....oh please do a gone with the wind rewrite, but you have to make me mammy...lol.

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  13. Carpe Diet...I love that!!!
    Excellence as always Jack!

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  14. OMG you have the best sense of humor .. I love it.. and I love these.. Frankly my dear, I don't give a ham had me laughing out loud - as did a few others!!!

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  15. Are you sure we don't need bacons? Not even uncured turkey bacons, oragic, too?

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  16. Sure, start it out with a doughnut joke...just what I need.

    I was looking for the one with "Tuna, you can't handle the tuna..." but hmm...I'm thinking you should go with something different on this one. Although, tuna can be a put-off, you just have to buy it the right way...I can see how it can be hard to handle...

    Maybe if I think of something, I'll let you know.

    Funny stuff!

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