Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Excuses for a Bad Weigh-in

  • “Forgot to turn scale back for Daylight Saving Time.”
  • “Saltcicle was one of my worst inventions ever.”
  • “Should have been suspicious when ‘no-fat’ brownie recipe included quart of Crisco.”
  • “Just wanted to see what would happen if you filled a caulk gun with frosting.”
  • “Not sure what happened. Am suffering from Hamnesia.”
  • “Forgot to say pre-weigh-in prayer.”
  • “Went to discount medical clinic. Diagnosed with rare marshmallow deficiency and force-fed dozen S’mores.”
  • “Admirer sent over a bouquet of cheese.”
  • “Thought there might be a spider in my running shoes and didn’t want to take any chances.”
  • “Bought new car and it came with glove compartment filled with free fudge.”
  • “Scale always weighs a little heavy in colder weather…”
  • “Another example of Government meddling making our country less free!”
  • “Licked all the batter from the bowl before realizing I hadn’t made the cake yet.”
  • “Didn’t want to make other weight-loss bloggers look bad.”
  • “Angry co-worker stole lock of hair and made cursed voodoo doll.”
  • “Accidentally had gravity turned way up in the house.”
  • “Unscrupulous butcher put his thumb on the scale.”
  • “Got new tattoo and forgot to specify ‘light’ ink.”

Note: Before any of you try to cheer me up for a bad weigh-in, please note that I had a really good weigh-in. I always have more fun talking about weight gains when I haven't had one. Believe me, if I had a gain, this would be the last post I'd be writing.

43 comments:

  1. A bouquet of cheese would sure be tasty...

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  2. “Scale always weighs a little heavy in colder weather…” haha this one's my fav. :P

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  3. Thank you. I am sure I will need to borrow at least one of these tomorrow.

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  4. I like the cake batter excuse. That's actually happened to me, only it was cookie dough.

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  5. hilarious! I like the day light savings the best!

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  6. Man, I hate it when I accidentally flip the gravity switch!!!

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  7. Love it. I'll have to use some of theses excuses. Love the cheese bouquet. Gross. There all kinds of bouquets that can sabotage you:meat bouquet, beer bouquet, Spam bouquet, etc. It's funny but I was just thinking about writing a post about how to ensure a good weigh in. ;-)

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  8. “Bought new car and it came with glove compartment filled with free fudge.”
    Hilarious! :) I lost another pound today. It's been slow going for a week and a half but I'm not losing hope - I'm still losing inches. :) Thanks for the laugh.

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  9. LOL about admirer sending cheese bouquet!! Thanks for starting my day out with a laugh! ;)

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  10. I was supposed to turn back the scale & the clocks? D'oh! Had no idea. ;)

    Cheese bouquet...my dh would probably love that. lol

    I am SO buying my car at the wrong place. It only came with a tank full of gas - no fudge.

    Thanks for the laughs Jack!

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  11. WHAT? Those are excuses? oh. Excuse me, gotta go cross something off my "Things that people believe when I say them" list!

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  12. “Just wanted to see what would happen if you filled a caulk gun with frosting.”

    Sir, I do not know what you mean! :P

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  13. hehe! :)

    I weighed in in jeans a few weeks back...and had a bad WI. Never again will I do that! lol Funny what we will say or do before we get on that scale. :)

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  14. may i just say...
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
    like it :D

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  15. Hahaha...:) And congrats on losing 80.7 pounds!

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  16. *cackles*

    I almost want to have a bad weigh in on purpose!

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  17. Love it Jack!, ya keep me laughing.

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  18. Hey! I think the "possible spider in the running shoe" one is a perfectly valid excuse! ;o)

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  19. Quite possibly the best blog post I have read all morning - this is HYSTERICAL

    “Licked all the batter from the bowl before realizing I hadn’t made the cake yet.”

    Yup..check...done that!!

    Congrats on a great weigh in - keep 'em comin!!

    - Adam @ http://www.turnupmyworkout.com

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  20. You are right about the government - its a Socialist health care conspiracy designed to make us appear fat so we have to go before the Death Panels!

    I'm putting you on my Top Ten List of people you want to have dinner with - you know, like Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Oprah.....

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  21. Ah good old hamnesia.

    I'll confess to giggling out loud a few times as I read the list. Very funny post, Jack. :)

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  22. That gravity setting one always gets me. My husband is always turning it up.

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  23. Jack, I just gave you a shout out on my blog.


    Put OxyClean back up.

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  24. Hmmm... if I buy a new car that comes with fudge to sweeten the deal, I might be concered I am getting a clunker.

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  25. “Licked all the batter from the bowl before realizing I hadn’t made the cake yet.”This cracked me up!!!! Although I would be baking cookies!

    And you know you would be back even if you had as slight gain.... we all have times when the bod does weird stuff. Wait till you hear about my week, last week when I post about that either Friday or Sunday. Not pretty! Course, mine was women hormones but still! ;-)

    Congrats on a good weigh in!

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  26. New car with a glove compartment filled with fudge! My fave, because it involves getting a new car. Though I'd get mad if my Ferrari came with fudge in the glove compartment. How would I effectively clean that out? Of course, I would then sell said Ferrari, buy a mini with the cash, and use the rest to invest in more fudge!

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  27. LOL I like the voodoo doll one.

    I had a legitimate cast and crutches excuse when I did WW.

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  28. I was just checking out your goals list and felt that in the interests one poor canine that I should offer to take the poor beast in. Can you not sacrifice a mock chicken version of DipSh*t to the Brazilian demi-god? A nice set of black olives for eyes--- you could make it look convincing.

    Please, give me the dog
    Barb

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  29. Hahah! I could actually see myself trying to use the "cold scales weigh more" excuse. =)

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  30. This is too funny. I'm glad to hear that you had a good one!

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  31. Oh, like you're the only one who's ever thought about sucking frosting out of a caulk gun!

    Hahaha...You're too funny, JS.

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  32. Hey Jack!
    Found your blog through Gen - seems her shout out for you worked. :) Great blog - great attitude. Looking forward to more posts. Keep up the machine-gun humor.. it helps us as well as you. :)
    Cara

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  33. I wonder if the cats turn the gravity switch up while I'm sleeping! Darn cats!

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  34. Can I trade you for your saltcicle recipe? I'll gladly give you my sodiumousse recipe. It's a big hit with deer and horses.

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  35. I love your before and after picture. Somehow I've never seen it?! You look awesome!

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  36. I laughed out loud at, “Thought there might be a spider in my running shoes and didn’t want to take any chances,” and, “Didn’t want to make other weight-loss bloggers look bad.” Too funny!

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  37. Hysterical! The gravity is often turned to 11 in my house.

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  38. oh i have missed reading your blog.

    my scales DO weigh heavier in the cold weather. AND there is usually a spider in my running shoes...

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