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Blinded by fridge light; accidentally ate a cheesecake
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Stepped on scale left foot first instead of right foot first
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Forgot pre-weigh-in prayer
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Thought I was going to Zumba class but it turned out to be keg party
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Conspiracy at the highest levels of government
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Had gum in my mouth
- Forgot to exhale when I stepped on scale; lungs were full of heavy, heavy oxygen
- Don’t understand it; must have had a hundred fat-free brownies this week!
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Went ahead and had all I could eat at all-you-can-eat buffet
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Had Oreo coupon that was about to expire
- Pissed off voodoo witch-lady down in New Orleans
- Something in the air
- Misread recipe; it read “teaspoon” of olive oil and I thought it said “tablefull”
- Bad luck because I ate a black cat
- Weighed in the nude, but feel I could have been nuder
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- Water weight... I accidentally drank some water
- Forgot where my gym is located
- Gravity extra strong on weigh-in day
- Breaking in a new scale
- Letting my hair grow out
- Weight Watchers conspiracy
- Friends let me down
- Wearing my Kevlar underwear
- Bad voodoo
- Too heavy for treadmill to move
- Drank too much gravy
- Obama and his Socialistic agenda
- Didn’t know they’d be serving wedding cake at the wedding
- The regrettable marshmallow incident
- Spider got in my gym bag
- Stumbled into a charity fish fry
- Sleep-snacking
- Amnesia made me forget about diet
- Accidentally locked self in snack closet
- Coworker brought in brownies and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings
- Listened to a lot of music that made me hungry
- Misplaced my muzzle
- Actually lied about my weight last week
“Forgot to turn scale back for Daylight Saving Time.”- “Saltcicle was one of my worst inventions ever.”
- “Should have been suspicious when ‘no-fat’ brownie recipe included quart of Crisco.”
- “Just wanted to see what would happen if you filled a caulk gun with frosting.”
- “Not sure what happened. Am suffering from Hamnesia.”
- “Forgot to say pre-weigh-in prayer.”
- “Went to discount medical clinic. Diagnosed with rare marshmallow deficiency and force-fed dozen S’mores.”
- “Admirer sent over a bouquet of cheese.”
- “Thought there might be a spider in my running shoes and didn’t want to take any chances.”
- “Bought new car and it came with glove compartment filled with free fudge.”
- “Scale always weighs a little heavy in colder weather…”
- “Another example of Government meddling making our country less free!”
- “Licked all the batter from the bowl before realizing I hadn’t made the cake yet.”
- “Didn’t want to make other weight-loss bloggers look bad.”
- “Angry co-worker stole lock of hair and made cursed voodoo doll.”
- “Accidentally had gravity turned way up in the house.”
- “Unscrupulous butcher put his thumb on the scale.”
- “Got new tattoo and forgot to specify ‘light’ ink.”
Note: Before any of you try to cheer me up for a bad weigh-in, please note that I had a really good weigh-in. I always have more fun talking about weight gains when I haven't had one. Believe me, if I had a gain, this would be the last post I'd be writing.
